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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Spring (as in the season) (11/28/05)

TITLE: The Sweet Chirp Song
By Helen Harris
11/28/05


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During winter in Texas we still have many bird around,
but I don’t think they really sing then. I don’t know
why I seem to take birds for granted during wintertime.
They probably sing their song during wintertime too.
They seem to just sit up high and fly high above the
earth in the sky. God gives us their sweet songs to
sing in winter and then comes Spring…

But, when every thing begin to bloom, and the colors begin
to come so Vivid. Birds let out their loudest chord, Singing
Spring is Here. You can hear their song from the highest
treetop. It seem like every tee is filled with birds singing
their song of Thanksgiving, Praising and Thanking
God for giving Spring…

Winter can bring its beauty too: Like the cozy warmth you
feel by the flicking fireplace. Wrapped up in your favorite
blanket eating pop corn and drinking hot cocoa. Winter gives
Thanksgiving and Chrisman, family and friend celebrating the
Season and the Reason, giving Thanks to God for all
Blessings, and then comes Spring…

The seasons, birds and Spring are all of God’s
wonderful Creation…
Thank you God

Genesis 1:20 NIV
And God said, “Let the water teem with living
creatures, and let birds fly above the earth
across the expanse of the sky”


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This article has been read 813 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Gini Branch12/05/05
Good word pictures, interesting observations. Seemed like it was more about winter, though.
Jan Ackerson 12/05/05
Quite a few verbs are missing their endings. Be careful with that--this is a sweet piece, full of hope.
Allison Millward12/05/05
I agree that this seemed more about winter than spring. Lots of "s's" missing from words..always check the grammar..even a missing 's' or other ending to a word can often halt the reader or change the meaning.
Nina Phillips12/07/05
Lovely points you made. I agree with Jan. A little bit of editing here and there, work on the grammar end, and this will be a nice peice. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless ya, littlelight
Marilyn Schnepp 12/09/05
The typo's and grammar problems took the reader away from the message. Need to edit your story a little more, and work on spelling and grammar. We had a "Winter" subject a couple weeks ago, and I was looking for a little more Spring in the story. Thank you for sharing, and God Bless.
Helen Harris12/12/05
Thank you all for taking the time to comment.( :

You are so Right. I was still in the winter mode. ( : I rushed and enter it and let Microsoft Word correct it, sometimes Microsoft Word is not always right.

Your Comments are so Appreciated. I totally need to work on these things and I will before I do any more Challenge Writing.

We learn so much from your Comments. Keep up the Good work Guys.

I got Chrisman for Christmas (LOL) I will keep on writing and get better.
Thanks again.
God's Blessing, Helen
Helen Harris12/12/05
I am embarrass to have this one be read by others, ( : but the Good lesson I learn is to Not Rush and Proofread First.

I am not giving up.
Thanks again.

God's Blessing. With Love, Helen
Amanda D'costa02/17/06
Dear Helen,

Looks like everyone has already pointed out to your grammar, spelling or off-the-topic mistakes. So I don't think it it is necessary for me to pin-point.

Apart from that, it is nice to note courage, in that, you are not disheartened by the comments. Willingness to want to share in Jesus in different forms, perhaps in poetry or prose, is an excellent way of witnessing.

It's okay to make mistakes as long as you take note of it and try to correct it if you feel you should.

Jesus loves you... He always has and always will.

love you in Jesus..... Mandy