The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/30/05
I like the idea of "reading" her thoughts as she's hearing a sermon. The first three sentences could be combined into one paragraph for better flow:

"God, I am so afraid," she thought. Am I doing the right thing? How do I know for sure?"

I love the fact that she was so open to God's voice. Lovely.
11/30/05
Oops, I left off a quotation mark before Am.
11/30/05
Very relatable and realistic character. You've written this well, and I know that many people will be blessed by it. Great job!
11/30/05
I agree the thoughts should have been together. I liked how you showed God's right and just side--not showing favoritism. Nice post. God bless, littlelight