The Official Writing Challenge
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I like the thought of unity you develop in your story.

One thing to be careful of, though, is Bible facts. Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The tree of life is reserved in heaven for all faithful followers of God's ways.

Also baptism washes us clean or forgives our sin and then we are given the Holy Spirit to live within us as children of God. (See Acts chapter 2)

I really liked the great effort and energy you put into this work.
09/12/14
Your message was clear and filled with love of God. Your heart was truly in the story and it shined right on through the entire piece.

Nicely done.


God bless~
Thanks for sharing this rich piece. It shows God's love and grace since beginning that continues today. We shall be united one day when the Lord comes.
You have some interesting facts here. I can feel your passion for wanting to share God with others. You may want to work on your transitions some because to me it felt like some random lines, but they needed more connection. Think of transitions as a thread holding the entire piece together. If you haven't checked out Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards, I'd urge you to do so. She has some great advice for all levels of writers. I do think you showed the reader a glimpse of how vast God's love is for us. That's such an important message that we all need to hear and share with others. Good job.