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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Pros and Cons (08/14/14)

TITLE: I Choose Faith
By Rosey Mucklestone
08/20/14


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The valley of Elah was quieter than it should have been, especially if there was a war going on. I frowned and pulled the horses up to a stop.

"Here," I handed the reins to the carriage keeper, "I'll go get my brothers." I jumped down out of the wagon and ran the rest of the way to the camp, wondering why it was so silent down below

The Philistines looked off guard and we seemed to have more men, so I couldn't imagine why we weren't attacking. It was weird.

I wandered into the camp, craning my neck around various tents, trying to find my brothers. Someone near the edge of the stream was shining his sword and I stopped for a second to watch. He looked up and smiled at me and I grinned back. He was silent for a few more seconds, then looked up again with a puzzled look on his face,

"Aren't you a little young to be here, redhead?" I shrugged,

"I'm just looking for my brothers." Silence again.

"Sir?" I asked, "Why's no one fighting?" The man sighed,

"Well, lad," he looked up at me with a hopeless expression. "I think the Philistines have beaten us this time." I was dumbfounded,

"H-How many men have you lost?" I finally stammered. He shook his head,

"None. But they have a giant and every day..."

A loud roar interrupted our conversation and the man dropped his head on his hands,

"That," he mumbled, “He comes out each day to defy Israel. The king has offered a huge reward to anyone who kills him. He will give that man one of his daughters for a wife, and the man’s entire family will be exempted from paying taxes, but still no one dares fight.”

I looked over towards the Philistines camp, and sure enough, it was a giant.

“I am the Philistine champion,” he bellowed, “but you are only the servants of Saul. Choose one man to come down here and fight me! If he kills me, then we will be your slaves. But if I kill him, you will be our slaves! I defy the armies of Israel today! Send me a man who will fight me!”

I tipped my head and frowned, then looked back at the man sitting by the stream, his sword now forgotten.

“That’s it? One little giant and you give up?”

“Hardly ‘little’, lad,” he said. I stared in disbelief,

“Do you forget that we have God on our side? That no weapon formed against us shall prosper?” There were more men near us now and I turned to them, “Is everyone here cowards?”

“Well, boy, you kind of have to think of the pros and cons in this situation . . .”

“Pros and Cons? Your choosing that over faith? What you think is logic?”

“David!” an angry voice exclaimed. I turned to see Eliab marching towards me. He came and grabbed me by the shoulders, “Stop it! You’re a disgrace to the family name!”

You’re a disgrace to the family name!” I shot back, “Why aren’t you fighting that blasphemous giant?” Eliab scowled,

“What are you doing around here anyway?” he demanded. “What about those few sheep you’re supposed to be taking care of? I know about your pride and deceit. You just want to see the battle!” I turned and stalked towards King Saul’s tent.

“Where are you going now, David?”

“I’m going to fight that giant. I choose faith over “pros and cons”.


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This article has been read 72 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD (Camille) Swanson 08/21/14
A very endearing approach to the topic. David's dialogue and interaction, and thoughts were interesting as you presented them on paper.

Well done.

God bless~
Larry Whittington08/24/14
I like the common touch you have given to this bible story.

From 1 Samuel 17:20 I cannot tell if David loaded up the supplies in a wagon (or something similar) or on a donkey. This may not make a difference but it makes a better story (in my view) for David to have used a donkey.

Put this story with many other bible stories and you have a "kids bible story book".
Rachel Barrett08/26/14
I've commented before that I am a sucker for "story-ized" Bible accounts. No different here. I enjoyed reading the personalized characterization of David and the others.

I have a couple of minor critiques. In the 3rd paragraph, you used the phrase "It was weird." It threw me just a little bit to come across a more modern way of talking, in a historical story set so long ago.

That could be just me. It might not be an issue at all! :)

There were a few places where there were commas, and perhaps should have been periods instead, maybe.

"He was silent for a few more seconds, then looked up again with a puzzled look on his face,
"Aren't you a little young to be here, redhead?" I shrugged,"

I was thinking there should be a period rather than a comma after "face" and "shrugged". Unless you were intending to make the prose lead in to the dialogue by commas?

I hope I'm not being confusing. I thought the way you wrote it was lively and engaging. And I liked the part you chose to write about, before the battle, rather than the famous battle itself.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/28/14
Congratulations on ranking 11th in your level. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.