The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/21/14
Your stories carry messages, depth and meaning to the readers. Well done, well said, and on topic as always.

Great job.

God bless~
08/21/14
Interesting story. A little terrifying in light of our world today, but well done. It spurs me on to be more in prayer for our country and the decisions our leaders make on our behalf. Great job!
As a nation if we don't humble ourselves, repent and turn back to God we may fall from within.

This is a good story to remind us of our responsibility to pray for our leaders as we seek to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

This was an interesting scenario.

If this is your style of stories, develop the descriptive aspects of it.
An excellent story that could one day become true.

I agree your stories always send clear heartfelt messages.

Prayer is indeed a powerful weapon!!

God Bless Always!
08/24/14
This is an excellent article, and should make the judges sit up and take notice. Well written with great detail.

No one wants to think that this would ever happen to our great country, but the writing is on the wall, I think.

Thanks for reminding us how fragile freedom can be.

Great job!
08/25/14
That was a very unexpected story! I like unexpected. It makes me do a double take.

One thought--shouldn't "marshall law" be "martial law"?

Anyway, good story, if a bit scary! It left me wondering what happened next... :)

Definitely a timely message. It makes you sit up and think about where the world is headed.
folks...I meant martial law; not marshal law. sorry for the error!
08/26/14
This is different from a lot of your others. I wasn't sure it was your's at first. I'd hate to see a bomb 100,000 times bigger than the ones dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Actually I think one that big would take out half the US in one blast. Anyway, I enjoyed the story as always and it really makes one sit back and ponder war. That's a good thing. Keep on entertaining and teaching us with these stories. All the best!
This is an awesome piece. It brought tears to my eyes. We were just talking in Bible study how after 9/11, everyone turned to God. The churches were full... for a few weeks. Once we went in to wipe out the terrorist, people tended to forget about God again because control was in our hands once again. The ending of your story is brilliant. Instead of power going to his head, your MC remembered who is the ultimate general.

I only have two little red ink comments. First this line: Spoke General Yost in a somber tone. I wonder if you meant it to be a tagine at first. Written like this, it needs the quote to be a full sentence, but switch it around, and it can stand on it's own as a powerful, complete sentence: General Yost spoke in a somber tone.
The other thing is I noticed you used the word that when it should be who. I see this mistake on a daily basis. It should read like this:President Eli Zolonzi was the first US President elected who was a Christian Jew.

Overall, I think this is a great story. There have been a lot of doomsday stories about the downfall of the US, but this one is out of the box because of the great ending. You have a wonderful way of developing characters, building suspense, and pulling the reader into the story.