Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Right and Left (07/31/14)
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TITLE: Andy�s Dilemma | Previous Challenge Entry
By Louise Galley
08/07/14 -
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Chuck barked back, “what’s taking you so long.”
Brandi exaggerated her movements wiping off Chuck’s sweat; Chuck glared at Andy. Before he could say anything, Andy’s silent gesture made Chuck shut up and back away.
Brandi honed her focus for the job: twenty-three right, 15 left, two rights pass zero, stop on 20. Two lefts pass zero, stop on 10.
Brandi heard the click and whispered, “got it.” Chuck shoved Brandi out of the way and pulled the handle.
The twins always gave leeway to Chuck. He saved them from living on the streets, took them in when everyone else passed. As long as they allowed Chuck to believe he was in charge, life went smooth.
It took some doing but Andy convinced Chuck to let his twin work the safe. Chuck loved Brandi; just thought girls were bad luck. Andy wasn’t taking any chances. He had way too many hours setting up this job to chance it on a rookie.
Andy knew Brandi was the best, a soft touch. Her short stay at the orphanage gained her pick pocketing skills, lifting rosaries off nuns. She had a colorful collection, went ballistic when he forced her to leave the precious gems behind.
As she improved, safe cracking became her mainstay. Crews all over hired her. She was perfection in motion. Why Chuck objected was utter stupidity.
Andy stepped back pulling Brandi with him. The look on Chuck’s face warned him an explosion was inevitable.
“What the,” Chuck growled. “There’s no money here. Where are the jewels?” Grabbing Andy, he snarled, “I thought you said this safe was loaded?”
Pushing back, Andy snapped. “Get off.” Looking in the safe, he spotted the pink envelope. Caroline loved pink.
My Dearest Andrew,
If you’re reading this you know I know. The game is up, my darling. You’re not the first gentleman who’s attempted to extract my worldly goods. Though, I was truly hoping you were different.
My parting words are empathetic. Sandy encourages me to pray for you which I will. And while I pray and live my new life on the right side, yours, I fear, will be on the left in prison.
Praying for your salvation,
Caroline
Reading over his shoulder Brandi asked, “what does she mean ‘her new life’?”
Snatching the note from Andy, Chuck sneered, “let me see that. Well, Lover Boy. She out foxed you didn’t she.” Scanning it again, he exploded, “she’s praying for you?”
“Oh, I get it,” Brandi added. “She’s Catholic, going to be a nun.”
Seething, Andy blasted, “Shut up. She’s not going to be a nun. She’s a Christian.”
“You were conning a Christian,” exclaimed Chuck and Brandi. With that revelation, they busted up laughing.
Ignoring the laughing loons, Andy moved towards the hidden door in the wall. “She wasn’t a Christian when I started,” he yelled.
“Oh, that’s rich. You mean your presence convinced her to become a Christian?” Shoving his sister through the opening, Andy’s temper started boiling.
As they hurried to the car, the loons kept up their assault on Andy’s ego. For Andy, the brisk walk helped him cool off. Pulling out, moods sobered as each realized how empty their pockets were over the botched heist.
Taking side streets, Andy’s phone vibrated. Instinct told him it was going to be Caroline. Her text read: right on 23, left on Brown, 15 blocks down, on left 2010.
“How far are we from 23rd Street?”
“A few blocks.”
“What’s at 2010 Brown Street?”
“The Catholic mission.”
Lost in thought, Andy wanted to remain angry over lost revenue but couldn’t. Caroline had done what no other had – out maneuvered him which earned his respect.
How did she know? Andy was the best at pursuing women. He had studied her, had staged the perfect greet and meet encounter. Yet, she won and he lost. Obviously, he had under estimated his opponent.
Recalling conversations, she rambled on about her new life. He ignored most of it, paying attention only when they were at her extravagant condo.
There was always one exception. When she talked about knowing Jesus and his companion, her excitement was contagious. It was during those times he lost sight of his mission.
What did she call the companion - holy something? Maybe he tipped her off. Brandi’s abrupt question jarred his attention, “you’re not thinking about converting, are you?”
Andy wondered who had pursued whom.
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Nicely done.
God bless~
I would suggest that you make a new paragraph when the speaker changes.
God bless.
Please forgive for mistake.
I loved it. It had me hooked from the beginning.
Great dialogue.
Funny, Funny, Funny, but had a good message.
Can't wait to read your next entry.
It's a winner to me!
God bless~