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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Vines (11/21/05)

TITLE: First Love
By Joel King
11/23/05


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Coursing over walls again,
Through lush gardens where he’d been
Sleeping at ease before the break of day,
Corrupt vines of wantonness,
Noticing his slumbered bliss,
Silently infringe upon hotbed’s stay.

Twisting within tended spot,
Where gardener’s lovely plot
Held the alluring rosebud of McVeigh,
Choker of youth’s naive slip
Entangles within its grip
Sixteen-year-old lover who fades away.

Waking to the rising sun,
Seeing the discolored one
Who once was adorned in splendid array,
Young gardener’s tender hand,
Grips the soil where worthless sand
Forever replaces innocent’s way.


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This article has been read 619 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nina Phillips11/29/05
Beautiful. I wanted to cry. Very touching. God bless ya, littlelight
Anita Neuman11/30/05
Sorry, but I'm missing something here - I don't get what you're saying. But other than that, you've chosen some very lyrical words and created some beautiful phrases.
Andria Cook12/02/05
The poetic expressions you have chosen are truly beautiful!

I was a little lost in this poem, however. Mixing some clarifying lines in on this poem would help.

Thanks for sharing this poem, it sounds like it has a very deep personal meaning to you.