The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/01/14
Interesting and well written tale! I really enjoyed this.

God bless~
That was an interesting story. You were able to talk about salt and pepper in different ways all the way through it and yet talk about different things.

Very creative. Nice work.
08/04/14
Nice job. I enjoyed the dialogue.

One suggestion and I hope I am not being too critical. I love it when someone suggests something. I grow from it. After Uncle Peter scolded him in dialogue, you then pointed out that Uncle Peter scolded him. I have read that it is better to just say, "Uncle Peter said". You went from showing to retelling.

Keep writing

God bless
Delightfully spicy!
08/06/14
I liked your warm interaction between uncle and nephew. Really well written piece. I think you'll be moving on up!
08/07/14
Good writing and well on topic. I think the ending could use just a bit more pizzazz, but that might just be me. Keep up the good work.