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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Vines (11/21/05)

TITLE: The Root And Its Vines


Out of the earth's darkness came out the new offspring to live. And out of the soil, it smiled to see the morning sky where there is hope for living. For it is from the grave of nowhere and of no direction before. It's life full of silent grievances, there are thorns beside this vine that tried to killed it by scraping it to death, and life beneath is cold and was covered with darkness. 
This offspring longed for light because it wanted to die if bearing the hardship of life won't stop. It cried out loud and long, enraged and embittered for being defeated on life's race and for being alone. It does not felt love before, 'cause all it could feel is hatred for it's sower planted it with hate, jealousy and all the kind of bitterness that seemed to cause it's torment mind and heart. 
The offspring nodes in too many vines that goes nowhere but danger, it also leads to entwined darkness and life of sin. It also had fallen into may pits and no one tried to help and even the sower did not mind to took the poor offspring. Because of this, the offspring felt being cursed and it felt rejected that it wanted to end up its life by drowning itself down the bog. It closed its eyes and dipped itself, as it sink there is no regret in its heart. "Soon all my bitterness will end!"
But another sower came, not just to sow but to harvest! He saw that offspring seeking death to end it's sorrow. The sower felt what this offspring felt, that he grabbed it quickly and keep it. He gazed at it, the offspring is with tears of not just sorrow but an agony. "I will plant you again child, for I want you to grow and to love your life.'
The sower planted it again, chose a good soil and guarded it from the wind and from the thief from morning till midnight. The sower did not leave the seed, and He waited for it to come out of the earth to live again. The sower smiled when He saw the re-newed offspring out of the earth. "Now that you have life again, it is time to harvest." The sower said. "Don't you know that I am the Root of every thing? The Beginning and the Last, I am! You came from me, I am your Root.... and you are my offspring.... but a thief who disguised to be a sower took you out of my hand. He scattered you and trying to destroy you."
"I did not know." the offspring replied and was wondering who is this sower and what ambiguous speech is he trying to say.
"I am the Father!" He said. "Now that you're back, I want you to do the same... go and sow the seed, then harvest its fruit in the field on where I am going to sent you. Tell them about me. Tell them that I am the Root!"
The offspring tried to figure it out as the sower is taking it on a journey. "You will see some seeds like you on rocky path and some in the desert and some in the snow, they too suffered life and they did not know which root to node with. You must tell them about me, that they need to have a node with me."
"I will." the offspring answered. It obeyed, it goes spreading its vine to the ends of the earth. It wanted to bear fruit which is from the Root. The offspring now knew that this Root, the sower and harvester and the 'Beginning and the Last' was Jesus. Now the offspring wanted to do the same Jesus did to its life. The offspring knew where does the vine of life is from, it's from God.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Nina Phillips11/29/05
Lovely story. A bit hard to read because of lack of spacing between paragraphs. That's how we learn though. God bless and thank you for sharing. littlelight
dub W11/30/05
Work on this, find a proof reader, break up your paragraphs. You have a neat story, just needs a little repair.
Andria Cook12/02/05
try new descriptions of "it". Think to yourself here for a moment, how many ways can I describe this vine.

Close your eyes, picture this vine... a thick cord, green rope, is it long, is it broken, has it taken over?

Answer these questions for yourself, and then rework the first paragraph. While alluding to something builds tension- there is a point that the writer will become confused.

Too much mystery at the beginning can cause such confusion, and cause the writer to stop reading.

Continue working on this piece, the story is a great one! Good luck!