The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/29/05
Lovely story. A bit hard to read because of lack of spacing between paragraphs. That's how we learn though. God bless and thank you for sharing. littlelight
11/30/05
Work on this, find a proof reader, break up your paragraphs. You have a neat story, just needs a little repair.
12/02/05
try new descriptions of "it". Think to yourself here for a moment, how many ways can I describe this vine.

Close your eyes, picture this vine... a thick cord, green rope, is it long, is it broken, has it taken over?

Answer these questions for yourself, and then rework the first paragraph. While alluding to something builds tension- there is a point that the writer will become confused.

Too much mystery at the beginning can cause such confusion, and cause the writer to stop reading.

Continue working on this piece, the story is a great one! Good luck!