The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/29/14
Well done! I felt as if I was watching one of those great Christian movies that my hubby and I enjoy so much on TBN or UP.

I loved this well written, articulate, and powerfully expressed message and story.

Excellent work!

God bless~
You did a great job with this piece. Right out of the gate, the conflict intrigued me and pulled me in. You do an excellent job of pacing the story. Personally I don't think you needed the line at the end with the word bestie in it. To me it felt a bit forced and I don't think you needed it because the entire story was about two best friends. You also did a wonderful job of showing the characters' emotions. It made me feel like I was right there watching it all unfold.
Good story in conversational form.

Many might be able to relate to this for their own good. Divorce comes at such a high cost to everyone but especially any children involved. This is true even if the children become "stepchildren".

Good warning for all.
06/03/14
I imagine the sun shone a little brighter too as that birdie started to sing. You deliver a good message here and I was caught up in the tale right away. Great entry!

Now for the sake of constant improvement...hmmm, maybe if you were to be a little more descriptive of the scene, the surroundings (The park) it might help us feel like we are there in the story with your characters. Please keep these wonderful entries coming!
06/05/14
Milly,

COngratulations! I knew you'd be here!

Well done.

God bless~