The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/11/14
Loved the running internal dialogue with God. Creative in content and delivery.

God bless~
Good story with a teaching point.

We all sometimes need to be reminded of this point.

Some of your paragraphs seem broken up. When it is the same person thinking or speaking don't break the paragraph. When another person begins to speak, then start a new paragraph.

I really like the content of the message. It is encouraging because I see others have the same problem I have but finally makes the right choice. This is encouraging.

Keep you heart in heaven and your eyes in God's word as you write.
04/16/14
I'mg lad you threw a brick on the forums to your entry. I read this entry earlier and intended to comment, but just forgot. I really enjoyed the inner dialogue you kept spinning throughout. Like the previous commenter, I think it could benefit from better formatting, but everything running together the way it does also seems fitting to your story.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, and its message. You also did a goodjob of developing a realistic MC. Thanks for sharing.
04/17/14
Congrats!

God bless~