The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/14
Well done...clever use of topic and entertaining facts about the Amish which follow stringent rules of community.

Nicely done.

God bless~

03/14/14
What an interesting way to tackle the topic. I wasn't sure where you were headed with this at first, but the end made a lot of sense. I did get a good sense of the characters and that helped to make this story different.

Red Ink: You had a typo of "there" when you really meant "their"

Thanks for sharing!
I enjoyed reading this very much. It makes me realize that there are still Christians in this country that can follow the ways Jesus taught folks to live by over 2,000 years ago. I know he still wants us to follow this way of life if we are really ready to trust him for providing our needs 24/7/365
This is an interesting description of one community.

Read it again to see where more commas could be used.

We all could be less connected to the "world's things" so this could be a lesson for us.

Congratulations on ranking 2nd in your level and 28th overall! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
03/20/14
Congratulations on 2nd place