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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Deep End (03/06/14)

TITLE: Beneath
By Stephen Halliwell
03/11/14


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Beneath

Eyes shut.
Darkness.
My lungs close;
my heart pounds.
Uncertain of when Iíll breathe again;
uncertain of what waits for me above the solitude.
Do I want to emerge?
Can I take it if I do?
What waits for me when I no longer have just myself?
And yet, do I have myself now?
Am I alone here?
Even though Iím under, I can still be seen.
The connection, though blurred, is still there.
And though I want to stay,
want to avoid the exposure,
the sting of every sense rushing back,
I know I canít.
To do so would be
selfish,
destructive,
the end.
Though the pain will be real,
it is necessary,
healing,
just.
And so, I move to rise
only to find I have lingered too long.
I kick, I flail, yet try as I might,
I sink.
I realize.
I see
that even though I put myself here,
I canít get myself out.
And yet, there is a hand,
as if it has always been there,
reaching down beneath the surface, fully within my grasp.
It is not frantically trying to grab me,
but in control,
calm,
waiting.


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This article has been read 120 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 03/13/14
Well done!
I really enjoyed this read.

God bless~
Sara Harricharan 03/16/14
I love the starkness of this poem. It's just simple and direct, without too much added in and it works really well with the topic.

Great job. The impact is amazing. Thanks for sharing!
Larry Whittington03/16/14
Interesting scene.
Wet setting.
Outcome in doubt
until the end.

Nice, creative writing on the theme.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/20/14
Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 27th overall! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
Judy Sauer 03/20/14
Congratulations on 1st place