The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/14
Great job with this well written entry.

God bless~
03/13/14
Great message about facing your fears.
03/13/14
Thank you very much for your kind comments, it is really encouraging.
Thank you
03/14/14
Fantastic job on this article. The father-daughter exchange was very heartwarming. It made me wish I had a dad like that.

I especially appreciated how you were able to pull together our faith in Christ and how fear interferes with our relationship with him. Your description of the exuberance that Natalie felt as she conquers your fear when realizing that the pool was man-made so she could conquer it was powerful. Great job. Keep writing.
Building the emotion of fear so readers also feel it makes this kind of writing delicate. Find words, facial expressions and body language of the "victim" of fear that translate "fear" to the reader.

The transition from the shallow end to the deep end could have been "step by step" from the shallow to the deep and let fear grow with each step.

It was good to use such a simple scene to show how fear can develop for no apparent reason but also how fear can be overcome.

Nice article.