The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/13/14
Thank you for this inspirational and well written story!

It made me take a trip down memory lane as I had a similar experience while swimming with Dad, who taught me to swim, staring underwater!

I loved this. Great job, and cetainly on topic.

God bless~





03/13/14
Thank you for this inspirational and well written story!

It made me take a trip down memory lane as I had a similar experience while swimming with Dad, who taught me to swim, starting underwater!

I loved this. Great job, and certainly on topic.



God bless~

03/13/14
I thought the MC was very charming and wise. Good take on the topic at hand.
03/14/14
Powerfully engaging story. You are well versed at painting a picture with words. Bravo!

I really enjoyed this story and with it being in first person I thought it was a personal story of yours which made me read this as if it was nonfiction. However, you have it listed as fiction. Really was hoping that this was nonfiction because it's a delightful story of courage and fear and not giving up trying and achieving goals. This type of quality writing works for fiction as well. Keep up the great writing.
I got mixed up at first where you were swimming underwater. For me if you had said you swam "across the shallow end under water", I would have understood you did not get out of the shallow end.

I liked your application in your story. This is the way to use common experiences.
03/18/14
I felt there was a lot of great writing in this story. The introduction 'hooked' me (I've read where it is said we must captivate the reader in the first sentence-and you caught me :))
I enjoyed the careful use of word pictures and the encouraging theme running through to the end.
Well done.
03/20/14
Congratulations on Highly Commended