The Official Writing Challenge
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02/27/14
I thought I'd see entries of Joseph's story for this weeks topic, and I have. Each one well done, and well told, including yours.

Good introspective piece with room to grasp and meditate upon His word and the meanings in our life.

Nicely done.

God bless~
02/27/14
It's very clear that you have a heart for others and wanting them to have a deeper relationship with the Lord. Thank you for bringing your gifts here.

I know you're familiar with the forums, so I'd like to lovingly suggest checking out Jan's Writing Basics and Ann's Grammar Basics. Your heart is in the right place and I think with some fine tuning from some amazing teachers you could really take your devotions to the next level.

This was a powerful example of how the Lord is always working in every event of our lives--both good and bad--and I'm happy to hear that you've matured in your faith despite the experiences you've been through. I especially enjoyed the touching prayer at the end.
02/28/14
Well written with a strong message. Thanks for sharing.
02/28/14
A good message, with a sound Biblical foundation. Quite a few errors in punctuation - needed or unneeded comma and a misused semicolon or two. Tighten up those and some grammar missteps, and you'll do fine. Keep writing and serving!
03/01/14
This would make a good devotional. You are able to apply relevant strong application from the wonderful story of Joseph. Well done. Keep writing.
03/01/14
That was a great devotional! I would like to point out a few constructive criticisms, if I may. Other than a few grammar mistakes and some punctuation left out, you may have used too many trite expressions (common sayings or expressions) too close together. Other than that, I think it was great! :)

God bless
Your expression of triumph over despair brought tears to my eyes. I could feel every personal experience you have experienced. Yet, you continue to encourage others and yourself to hold onto God's unchanging hand. It will all be over soon enough! Blessings2U
03/02/14
Wow, you make some really good points here and have a way of choosing very powerful words.

I noticed you said in para 3 that Joseph's brothers "sold him as a slave to the Ishmaelites"; but then in para 4 you said "Potiphar an Egyptian brought Joseph from his brothers as a slave."

Potiphar 'bought' (brought is to bring 'bought' is to buy)Joseph from the Ishmeelites nor from his brothers.

I know when I write I sometimes say the wrong thing, not thinking just getting the story down; I might call David Moses or say Jesus said when it was actually Paul; or something similar. It is important that once the story is down we then review it for punctuation, wording and to check our 'facts'.

It is so easy during the writing to muddle things up and own review/critique is a great way to filter out the simple mistakes.

I know it was said earlier, but I want to repeat that your heart of wanting to help others comes through strongly. That's great.

You also make some really good points about our need to focus on the good that comes from the trial.

May I also suggest you get a good writing buddy to help with the review/critique process before you submit your entries. That has been a great help to me.

Blessings.
Desiring to improve shows the determination to use and improve the gift of writing God has given. It is good to see this.

One spot of grammar: "when life threw" would be better than "when life thrown".

You used the Bible story very effectively to show abuse endured finally brought about God's approval and using the gifts and abilities God had given and intended to be finally used.

Keep your heart in heaven and your eyes in His word.
03/03/14
Thank you for this wonderful retelling of a bible story, a favorite for many folks. You did a good job of connecting the story to spiritual truth and our relationships with God.

I would like to see a little more descriptive language used, I think that would make it even better. Like describing Joseph's face as his family rejected him. Help us picture the story in our minds, like we are right there in the story. When his brothers came to him for food: Joseph's eyes could slowly begin to glisten, filling with tears. He turns away as the dam breaks and tears rain down onto his clothing. Etc.

I hope that helps some. Keep on writing. You have a wonderful gift.
03/05/14
I think you did a nice job with this devotional making numerous great suggestions about 'staying Above the Bus' as your clever title describes.
You had a few typo and spelling errors and although I'm not qualified to give editorial advise- I know what I like and I liked this!
This is awesome. I've read a few Joseph stories this week, but what made yours stand out is how you related it to your personal life. It really touched my heart and I wanted to reach through the screen and comfort that hurting person, but I can see Jesus did that for me. :) I also really liked that you included a prayer (you might want to put them in italics in the future, but it's not an absolute, but more of a personal preference)because so many people have no clue on how to pray. Your prayer will show people that it's like talking to a Friend. Also kudos on writing that you would like red ink. I know it can get overwhelming at times, but that is how I became a better writer and I'm so glad more and more people are accepting that same wonderful opportunity. God bless.