The Official Writing Challenge
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02/21/14
This was so well written and such a hoot to read! I enjoyed your story so much, and I especially loved the ending of this entry, wonderful verse.

God bless~
02/22/14
This is a great light hearted piece and it made me smile. Thank you for sharing it. Keep on writing!
02/22/14
Hey this is a fun story worth telling - thanks for sharing your creative and humorous story telling. One thing I find helpful to tighten up my writing is to move paragraphs and sections around like chess pieces and see if I can either eliminate sections altogether or discover if they would work better in another part of the article. Setting the scene in the beginning of a story is crucial. For example, I tried placing a key scene of yours in the very beginning of your story, eliminating all the background details from the first paragraph, so it began:

"I stood like a statue in Billy's kitchen, opened my mouth and felt the string squeeze between my teeth." Here the curiosity of the reader is immediately hooked -(whereas all the background information about family holistic practices failed to push the story forward).
Next your story continues to build tension and comes to the tooth yanking climax:

"His mother tied it tight and tugged on it a little. Stretch, their brown wiener dog, danced around a little and then stood very still as they tied the other end of the string to his collar." (You string the reader along with even more tension here - this is great!) Curiosity builds:

“Hit it stretch,” Billy's mother yelled...The words made me close my eyes, clench my fists and pray. Out popped my tooth. Problem solved."

At this time you could back track and tell how you got into this situation at the advice of your good friend and continue on with your story - but I wouldn't belabor all the information about your past and how your folks did things etc. - only enough to make the story move forward. Just a few suggestions.
02/24/14
I am wondering what the salted with fire means? YIKES!

I had not remembered the 49th verse! HA.

I like this great story that held my attention til the very end.

I hate going to dentist with a passion and I am 50 years old. You wrapped up the story really great and kept it discreetly right on topic. Great Job!

Keep writing
Well written and funny. (Sorry)

Saline solution should be liquid. Maybe try it this way and it would work but hope you don't need it again.

Keep it around so you can send it in to a "joke book" or...

nice writing.
02/27/14
Congratulations!

God bless~
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