The Official Writing Challenge
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11/21/05
This was a good story, very honest. If you had separated the paragraphs it would have been much easier to read. God bless ya, littlelight
11/21/05
Well-written and moody, you captured the young person's attitude very well. Your reader will be distracted by the spelling and grammar errors; once those are edited, this will be a great discussion-starter for a youth group.
11/22/05
You DID capture the feelings so well! You need to work on punctuation and some spelling and this story will really shine so much more!! But I like the depth of what you had to say. Thanks!:)
11/23/05
Ditto Terri, Jan, and Nina on cleaning up the punctuation, spelling, grammaticals, and paragraph spacing. That final paragraph hit it for me...there is hope after all. Perfect expression of the feelings of a runaway from parents and God. The intensity of the bitterness stunned me, but I know that feeling is all too real with youth and adults.