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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Winter (11/14/05)

TITLE: Running Away
By Japheth Golen
11/16/05


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I waited out by the bus stop, freezing, it hadn't been above 3 degrees in two weeks. The smell of burning wood hung heavy in the air, I could see almost all the chimneys on the street had clouds of smoke rolling from them.
My dad wanted to drive me up here so that I could sit in the car and stay warm but I insisted on waiting in the cold. I used the gas prices as an excuse.
The bus was now fifteen minuets late, the bus that would take me away from all this. The constant badgering, discutions and getting me up every Sunday morning to try and get me to go to church. Couldn't they just understand that I wasn't interested in hearing about it any more.
It wasn't that I didn't think there was a God, but if there was how could he just let all the bad things happen in the world. Every day when I turn on the news there is more and more murder and crime. Wouldn't an all loving God put an end to it?
I asked the paster at my parents church but he wasn't any help, he just went on and on about the devil making people do bad things and that we have free will. It just didn't make any sense to me.
My parents wanted to send me away to a bible camp where they were hoping that they would be able to answer my questions, I just think they were hoping to brain wash me.
Hoping for independence I booked a bus ride to LA with the money I saved. I have a cousin who lives there and said I could spend a few months living with him and he'd try and get me a job with a friend of his. I can almost smell the ocean air, and see the palm trees. My cousing doesn't get into the religon stuff so I won't have to worry about that. Mom almost cried for an entire day when I told her I was leaving, I almost changed my mind. They said that I was always welcome back, I hope I only have to come visit.
I can see the bus now, it just turned onto the street. I'm getting nervious, the furthest I've been away from home is to the capitol two hundred miles away, this is three thousand miles.
I climb into the bus and show the driver my pass, he nods and I move to an empty seat. As the bus pulls away from the curb I notice my parents car up the block, both of them are in there, most likely thinking I was going to chicken out.I watch them as we pass, I can't see their faces because I'm to far up, I'm sure Moms in tears by now. I need distraction, I dig into my bag to find my MP3, I notice a peice of paper on top of my things. I 'm curious, I'm sure it's from my Mom, I unfold the paper and read.
David, the Lord came to me last night and told me to write this to you, I know that you are usure if there is a God and you have many questions, I'm sorry that your father and I have failed you in answering those questions. But he wanted to let you know that he has a place for you, he has promised me that he won't let you go. He knows that right now your trying to run from him but he will wait until you are ready and so will we, please forgive us for pushing you. Never forget that you have love here and in heaven. One day God will show himself to you and you will know that he is there. Love Mom & Dad.
I fold the paper up, a tear comes to my eye but I briskly brush it away. I find my music and slip on my headphones, the world rushes by but my Mothers words remain in my mind.


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This article has been read 468 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nina Phillips11/21/05
This was a good story, very honest. If you had separated the paragraphs it would have been much easier to read. God bless ya, littlelight
Jan Ackerson 11/21/05
Well-written and moody, you captured the young person's attitude very well. Your reader will be distracted by the spelling and grammar errors; once those are edited, this will be a great discussion-starter for a youth group.
terri tiffany11/22/05
You DID capture the feelings so well! You need to work on punctuation and some spelling and this story will really shine so much more!! But I like the depth of what you had to say. Thanks!:)
Sandra Petersen 11/23/05
Ditto Terri, Jan, and Nina on cleaning up the punctuation, spelling, grammaticals, and paragraph spacing. That final paragraph hit it for me...there is hope after all. Perfect expression of the feelings of a runaway from parents and God. The intensity of the bitterness stunned me, but I know that feeling is all too real with youth and adults.