The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This is beautiful. You did a grand job of eloping your characters. I got a lump in my throat as I read and so admired the patience and love of the MC. What a wonderful example. If only all elderly people had that kind of support.

Remember if you're using Dad as a name, it becomes a proper noun and should start with a capital. Also okay should be written out or both letters capped OK.

You nailed the topic in a couple of different ways like the end of a day and the end of the parent she knew, and finally a glimmer of the end of this life. This shows what Alzheimers can do to a person as well as showing what unconditional love looks like. Outstanding job.
As a Level 1 writer, you might not be aware of the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons. I’d love to have your input into the conversation there!
Oh my this gave me chills! I loved this entire piece, which resonated truth, so I'm thinking this is based on a true experience?

Having worked my entire career in the nursing home field, you've brought forward a realistic glimpse into the life of this "population" as well as what the family member goes through.

I would be thrilled with family members such as yourself, and so sad for those who didn't have the support and love from their own flesh and blood.

Thanks for sharing a strong entry that I feel will score very high on the judges list.

God bless~
I love the way you used simple and repetitious dialog to demonstrate both the father's Alzheimer's disease and the narrator's patience. Very effectively done.

A minor mechanical matter--in sentences like this one:

“Well, hello darling,” He replied, approaching me with a hug.

...the word 'he' should be lower case, as it is in the middle of a longer sentence, and not the beginning of its own sentence. I believe you had two or three sentences like this.

I was very moved by the last several paragraphs, and I enjoyed this entry quite a bit.
Good conversations tells it all.

Emotion builds as the climax draws near.

Nice piece.
Such a warm story. It has great flow and is captivationg from the beginning through to the end. I like the message being sent and the twist on the topic. Very well done, keep writing.
For some of us this really strikes a familiar chord. It pulled me right in and brought back some very real memories. This is a wonderful piece of writing, and I think it will do well. Keep up the good work!
You did a great job of showing the sadness of Alzheimer's without explaining it. The dialogue told it all.

It brought back memories of a man my wife watched for years. And now, I see my father's memory slipping away.

I truly enjoyed your piece. Minor errors will not lessen its message. Thanks for sharing.
As a caretaker of someone with the beginning stages of dementia, I applaud this fine piece of writing. I also loved the way the MC talked to her father.

I find this story exceptional. Just beautiful, especially the picture of the "Good man" at the end.

Blessings, Lynn
Congratulations!!! Very deserving indeed.
Congratulations on ranking 1srt in your level and 27 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.)
This is just wonderful and so very accurate in its description of those who are walking this road. Beautifully told and lovely to read. Very well deserving of its win. Thank you for sharing this.
This is wonderful. Congratulations on your 1st place win!