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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Day's End (01/01/14)

TITLE: Remembering a Young Girl


Remembering a Young Girl

This is something that came to me in remembrance of a dear little girl I went to school with. We were never close friends at all, but were always pleasant to each other. She though, was always made fun of by kids and was just one of those poor little souls. She had a sister that was in the “click” crowd, and I can’t say enough how this was hurtful to this little girl. Anyway, she always held a dear place in my heart, and she died very young. Here is a true story about her:
… We were in the 7th grade and I was at a school dance. I normally never got to go much to things like dances, but did get to go to this one. While there, I guess the kids decided they would use her for their entertainment. Guys began coming up asking her to dance, and I knew then something was wrong. One danced with her normal, and took her back to her corner. Then another came and danced with her. After a couple more, I began to get very agitated, knowing this was not good. The poor girl was taken. It escalated until these boys, one after another were dancing with her and each one would break in, and so on. She began waking up to it and you could see how uncomfortable she was. I watched in horror as all the kids, and I mean all of them, were roaring in laughter. You could just hear the evil. Even the teachers were all laughing and the laughing was ringing through the gym and my ears. I couldn’t take any more, as I wondered how even teachers could be this way. As she began to realize it that it wasn’t well intended, she began trying to pull away. I couldn’t be held back, and I ran out of the floor and grabbed the boys arm off of her and twirled him around. She looked at me and time stood still, but the look in her eyes were something that is branded in my mind forever. There was a thankfulness in those eyes that no one could understand unless they had walked that mile. I still see her face today. I stood in the middle of that gymnasium and somehow began to chastise them all, even the teachers. I watched as that entire gym was filled with nothing but heads down and total silence.

You actually could hear a pin drop. I gave them what I thought about it. She had looked at me and cried thank you and then ran out the door. I guess she ran all the way home, because she was gone. No one said a word to me about it, because they knew they were wrong, even the teachers. Can you believe that was never mentioned again?
School went on like normal the next week. No one said a thing, not a word. But, that night will forever be embedded in my mind, and her little “thank you” and those eyes of thankfulness will always be in my heart. This girl holds a very dear place in my heart. She died not long after, for she was found between the bunk bed and the wall. She had died through the night. I know I will see this precious tiny sister when we go to live with the Lord.


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This article has been read 201 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jody Day 01/09/14
Heartbreaking account of this poor little girl and her hero, you. Good job.

Check your preview before submitting and make sure you space between paragraphs for a cleaner, easier to read look.

Larry Whittington01/09/14
A very emotional story.

The longer paragraphs could be divided into shorter paragraphs. Sometimes short paragraphs with even one strong sentence is very effective.
Jan Ackerson 01/09/14
As a Level 1 writer, you might not be aware of the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons. I’d love to have your input into the conversation there!
C D Swanson 01/10/14
Praise the Lord you were there to help this young lady, and how wonderful that you were always pleasant and kind to her. Good for you!

As for the outcome, perhaps the Lord took her home early because he didn't want her to hurt any longer, and she finally found peace in His arms.

I appreciate you sharing this with us...thank you, and when you see her again in eternity, I'm sure she'll remember you.

God bless~
Theresa Santy 01/10/14
This story moved me. Thank you for sharing.
Amelia Brown 01/10/14
This is so sad....I guess she died of a broken heart.
Jan Ackerson 01/11/14
This is a tragic story, told in an authentic, touching voice.

I have a hard time finding the topic of "day's end" here. If you're new to the challenge, you may not realize that the topic is one of the judges' criteria for rating each entry.

You're a writer of considerable potential, and I look forward to reading more of your entries as you learn the ins and outs of the weekly challenge. If future entries are as touching as this one, we'll be quite blessed.
Sheldon Bass 01/12/14
I'm so glad you submitted this entry. Keep on writing and growing with us! I'll be watching for your next entry.
Dusty Fontaine01/13/14
I truly enjoyed the story. I too had a similar experience with a girl in elementary school, many years ago. I wasn't quite the hero though. God calls us to stand for the downtrodden. Perhaps, a few words to tie the dance and the girl running home to the topic, "Day's End," would have helped. Thanks for sharing.