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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Day's End (01/01/14)

TITLE: THE END OF A GOOD LIFE
By Jeannine Brenner
01/03/14


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I sat at the little round table in the tiny alcove of our Hospice room. My husband of almost 50 years lay on the bed. He was no longer agitated. Drugs had calmed his mind and he appeared to be sleeping comfortably, but I knew sleep was an illusion and that,in a matter of hours, he would no longer be with me. Our life together filtered through my mind.

There was our first date, first kiss, college graduation,marriage, the birth of our two daughters, and thirty one years of watching him sit at our kitchen table correcting his sixth grade classes' papers.

After retirement our first grandchild was born, followed by three more grandchildren, and the joys of watching them grow into young adults. Most of the years were good. He was a great father and a loving husband.

But now it would soon be over. The end of his days had come. But a new day was dawning, and I had no doubt that, beautiful as our days together had been, the new day, for him, would be even more glorious.


(Non-fiction)


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This article has been read 89 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jody Day 01/09/14
Nicely done mini memoir that fits the theme: Day's End for a life well spent. Enjoyed this piece.
Larry Whittington01/09/14
Hidden emotions known only by those who have experienced it.

It was short but it told it all.

I like the ending where your husband would be experiencing new unexperienced emotions.
Jan Ackerson 01/09/14
As a Level 1 writer, you might not be aware of the free writing lessons available on the FaithWriters forums. This week’s lesson is on writing devotionals, and next week will cover writing on topic for the weekly challenge. Look for it at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67, or if you’re on Facebook, you can “like” Faithwriters Writing Lessons. I’d love to have your input into the conversation there!
CD Swanson 01/10/14
Aww, this so touched my heart. Your emotions and love were palpable. Thank you for sharing this tribute to your husband, and a piece of your beautiful life together. And, Amen...he is in a glorious place where no doubt the Lord said, "well done my child, well done..."

God bless you~
Amelia Brown 01/10/14
The fact that this entry piece has only 4 paragraphs takes nothing away from its completedness. It's short, straight to the point, and on topic. Very well done. Keep writing.
Angela Linton01/11/14
The Lord is faithful indeed. Nicely done.
Jan Ackerson 01/11/14
Tender and sweet--your words carried the same sense of serenity that was present in that room.

If you were to expand this, I'd love more details: the sights, sounds, and smells in the room, specific memories, the narrator's feelings as she sits in the room so full of life and death.

Toni Babcock 01/12/14
I feel like I am reading a page out of your life's journal; its honesty, unpretentiousness, simplicity, and brevity is beautiful to me. It connects with the reader and communicates the sense of loss you are about to experience in the setting. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Sheldon Bass 01/12/14
Good Piece, I only hoped it would have been more.
Dusty Fontaine 01/13/14
Your story brought back memories of watching my mother in the ICU the last couple days of her life. You shared your heart in this piece and I appreciate that. As others have said, more descriptive writing could have had the reader in the room and in your mind. Thanks for Sharing this.
Meghan Andersch 01/14/14
Nicely done. You conveyed so much in this brief article.