The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 325 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
12/12/13
Such a wonderful story. I particularly like the title and the POV it took.

My suggestion would be to insert space inbetween each paragraph in order to allow the stroy to flow better.

The twist that the story took was very effective and the ending positive and appropriate. Well done.
Your descriptions and thoughts of anticipation drew me into the setting. The new setting upon arrival completely changed the emotional tone.

I don't know what an ending telling what the ride back home was like would have given the story.

It seemed well put together.
12/13/13
A very engrossing story well written. Gramps did have the best Christmas of all.

Spacing between paragraphs makes the story much easier to read. Other than that, I would say, Great job! Keep writing.

12/13/13
Wonderful story of the hope that Jesus brought to us those 2000 or so years ago. What a reunion there will be in heaven for many people, getting to spend eternity with loved ones who have gone on before. Keep writing! I like your style!
Moving, poignant. . .

Please "throw a brick" for others to enjoy, comment and support your writing:

http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=37705

Hebrews 10:26-31 KJV
Congratulations on your well-deserved win!

Love & Hugs in, through and because of Jesus, the Christ,

Judi Hebrews 10:26-31 KJV
Happy Holydays, beware the holly daze . . .