The Official Writing Challenge
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11/21/05
An extremely well-constructed article, the piece flows beautifully from beginning to end.
The phrase about the dog taking a leak was the only tiny thing that appeared a bit harsh in this jewel of an article. Maybe it could have been stated "do his business", "take his morning constitutional", I don't know.
I loved the pictures of the paragraph that begins "The air catches you just right and snatches your breath", and then all the way to the end. The last sentence "Winter has become your friend" is a perfect conclusion to this article. Thank you for sharing.
11/21/05
Awww...this was so sweet, and I loved the whole thing. Says alot..God bless ya, littlelight
11/21/05
I loved so much about this piece--but I wonder if it'd be even more effective if the "you" perspective was changed to "I." After all, you were talking about yourself, not me. But it was very well-written, and with considerable charm.
11/22/05
I loved you kissed her right into her soul! I would have liked it "I' too but still it was so very true and so very nice..you captured that moment so well..I know the moment..and wish we caught it more often!
I really enjoyed this entry, but I agree that writing it 'I' instead of 'you' would have been better. If you do rewrite it that way, you would need to change the part about the wife wondering. (That would be a point of view shift).

The taking a leak was also something I'd agree was too harsh for the flow of the piece. (I personally don't like the phrase, seems so crude.)

What I really loved was the line about kissing her into her soul and the husband cleaning up the egg! Seeing her as pretty in her sweats and frizzy hair was nice too, I could relate to that. :)

Overall, nice entry. You made me picture the couple in the scene. Good job!
11/22/05
Only a man would use that expression about the dog..(smile). It killed all the beautiful phrasing before and after. Being blunt, but honest. Good thoughts, however.
I just love this article. It's beautifully written and paints a warm scene inside against a wintry one outside. Yes, winter has become your friend.
Lovely article, well constructed and full of little touches that made me smile. God bless.
I enjoyed your piece. I saw my husband in you.
You paint beautiful pictures-wonderful writing. Thanks
11/26/05
I Love these Reflections lines:
”Short gray days and long cold nights are the hallmark of the season.” “The holidays make things better because there’s Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s, all peppering you with feelings of good will, and Auld Lang Syne,” “Winter has become your friend.”
Well Written. Thanks for sharing. Helen
09/29/06
I'm so glad this story received recognition. Congratulations, Paul! Your message: "You suddenly realize that someone provided the cold and dreariness, so that you could appreciate the warmth and light." touches on the heart of our experience in this wilderness journey. Thank you!