The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 196 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/07/13
God moved mightily in this MC's life, and when He wants something to happen, no man can stop Him! As we all know, with men it's impossible, with God all things are possible as this story so clearly illustrates.

It had an authentic tone so I guessing it was true.

Nicely done. Thank you.

God bless~
When God's will is being worked at, Pig's Fly Free.

The short paragraphs make it easier to follow. It is also good for the conversations.

Good job.
This is a fascinating story. People often underestimate the power of prayer. It's amazing what God can do. You did an awesome job of showing that.

You need to review some punctuation rules to help the flow. A good proofreader would help too. Some lines weren't complete sentences and could use some transitioning. For example: Once Monday, the bank manager put his hands on his hips as he turned to the Foreign Exchange officer. "Did you..."
That way it sets the scene, shows who is speaking, and his emotional state.

Your message is a great one. You did a fine job of writing on topic while keeping the reader interested from beginning to end. The conflict is clearly shown and resolved completely, all well delivering a great message.
11/14/13
Make sure you double space between every paragraph. I have found that when copying and pasting from a word processor that sometimes the paragraphs get jumbled up. It is good to hit the preview button before hitting the submit button to fix the paragraphs...Other wise this is a great piece. Keep writing!