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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Like a Fish Out of Water (10/24/13)

TITLE: Bitten and Devoured
By Holly Hoell
10/30/13


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Jenny was on a mountaintop of blessing. Everything was wonderful; then it happened.

“It seems like you don’t want to spend time with me lately, is something wrong?” Jenny hit send on her iPhone.

The reply came back, “I have to pray about this, I need a few days”.

Jenny read the text with disbelief. This wasn’t at all what she expected. The response should have been anything but that. It could‘ve been, I’m just really busy or I love you but I have some things going on right now.

A couple days later Jenny texted Amanda again “Can we talk?”

The response came back. “I don’t like it when people question my friendship with them. I don’t know what is bothering you; I’ll see you on Sunday.”

Sunday, Jenny went to Amanda and tried to talk to her. Amanda put her hand on Jenny’s arm. “I feel like God told me to step away from you for a couple weeks. He is going to heal your heart.”

“Okay” Jenny replied stunned. She went home and cried endless tears. She had shared with Amanda about a past friendship she had been hurt in, but Amanda did the same with her. She prayed and asked God to please help them to reconcile.

Over the next few months Jenny was extra loving to Amanda when she saw her. Sometimes, Amanda would be kind back, but otherwise she was indifferent. Jenny felt like she was in a fog. It was like all the beautiful colors in life turned grey. Each attempt to reach out to Amanda brought more rejection and hurt.

Why did it hurt so much when they had only met 8 months ago? Jenny shed more tears as she took all the cards down from her office wall that Amanda had given to her. Cards saying “You’re Amazing”, “We will be best friends forever”, “I have never met anyone as kind as you”. She threw them in the garbage can. That was how she felt, like she was thrown out as a piece of garbage.

That afternoon, Jenny met a friend for lunch. Cassie handed Jenny an envelope. “For your birthday.”

More tears came as Jenny saw what was inside. A fold out card that you can hang on your wall, it read “Come to Me and I will bind your wounds.” It had a picture of Jesus on it holding a lamb.

“You don’t know what this means to me Cassie.” Jenny wiped the tears from her eyes and told her what happened that morning. “Now I have something to hang up in place of those other cards.”

Cassie was a real friend. Jenny found that she could tell her anything and really count on her.

Over the next several months Jenny continued to be emotionally harmed by Amanda. Amanda claimed to be a gifted prophetic. She had told Jenny many stories of things God told her. She also became a flagger at church, so she was very visible and in the spotlight. This was interesting because when she was with Jenny, she always claimed to be fearful of being in the front and spoke of insecurities and fears she had.

But now, this person who once asked Jenny to be her BFF, and was so insecure and alone changed drastically virtually overnight. Now Amanda was making friends with leaders and trying to get in their good graces. It was like Jenny was invisible to Amanda.

Jenny poured her heart out to two of her friends Kelly and Nancy.

Kelly shook her head. “You were just a rung in the ladder."

Nancy hugged Jenny. "She uses people."

But Jenny had a hard time excepting that. When she saw Amanda, she just felt love and didn't understand what was so wrong with her that Amanda seemed to hate her.

One Sunday, Jenny was worshiping in church and she saw Amanda flagging. Tears glistened in Jenny’s eyes thinking how she would just like to hug her and be friends again. After worship she looked to her right. There in the pew in front of her was Amanda sitting with Nancy, the very person that had said that Amanda uses people. They were laughing and giggling.

Jenny could barely constrain her tears. After service Jenny slowly walked by them feeling invisible. No one said anything to her. She exited the church never to return again.


(Non-Fiction)


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This article has been read 67 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sheldon Bass 11/02/13
This is such a sad commentary, but a good emotional story. Your writing has a lot of potential!
You described the feelings well, but something we all struggle with is showing rather than telling (how your main character is feeling) Use her body positions, facial expressions, etc. Hope that helps a little. Cant wait to read your next piece! Keep up the great work!
Pam Ford Davis 11/02/13
You have revealed problems that often develop in relationships. I know God cares for the brokenhearted. Keep writing....
Wing His Words
CD Swanson 11/04/13
Wow - this was a powerful and emotional story. It had an air of authenticity to it so I wasn't surprised at the end to learn it was true.

I'm so sorry for the MC being involved in a "tangle" of "emotional hostage" with a former friend. It can be draining, unsettling, and very frustrating. Often, the indivudual feels as if they've done something wrong to warrant the "change."

When these things happen, I feel that it's God calling you away, and protecting you from a particular scenario or indiviual. So, although it's painful most times it may be God warning us.

Your story was strong, moving, compelling and honest. Thank you for sharing it.

God Bless~
Amelia Brown 11/04/13
This is such a sad story....but very well written. I feel the narrator's hurt and betrayal. I was hoping for a happy ending but that's what happens in real life; it's not always a happy ending.