The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/22/13
Beautiful devotional.
God bless~
08/22/13
Lovely devotional with a great hook at the beginning.
This is a nice devotion. You did a great job of finding the perfect Scriptures to go with your message.

The one thing you might want to consider is to share a personal story and avoid the universal you. I think that pulls the reader in more. Also make sure you have complete sentence. For example you could do something like this for your opening line:
My heart pounded as I waited for test results from the doctor's office. When the phone finally rang, I jumped and realized I had been holding my breath.

That may not be perfect, but many readers would nod their heads knowing what that feels like.I feel more of a connection to the author when she shares a part of her life.

You did have a nice lead in to your message either way though. Your message itself is a good one and is similar to my message this week. We need to inhale deeply and bring God into our lives more often.
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