The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/22/13
This was a cute story that delivered an important message about the "power of words" along with good scriptures to support your delightful interaction between siblings.

Thanks. God bless~
08/22/13
I very much a devotional that reads for the most part like a story--good job.

I usually recommend not starting a story with dialog, however. It feels slightly gimmicky, and it leaves the reader feeling as if she's walked in on the middle of a conversation. Then it takes a few sentences to get oriented in the world of the story.

The pace of this story was good--it moved right along, pulling the reader to a highly appropriate conclusion.
The fight between the siblings was very believable! Nice job on the dialogue!