The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/22/13
Good job with the children's realistic dialogue--this is difficult to do, but your children didn't sound precocious or overly precious--just like real children.

I felt temporarily disoriented when the story took several different directions--the spider, the weed, the swimming, then the lemonade. I wonder if it would have been better to eliminate one or two of those in order to more fully develop the others.

An appropriate lesson, and a good use of the target word.
08/28/13
Most enjoyable and believable story . . .
08/29/13
Congrats! God Bless~