The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
I like the device of using a conversation between your two characters to tell the back story--well done.

You may want to brush up a bit on punctuation and capitalization of dialog. I'll be posting a lesson on that in the forums on this site in the next few weeks--feel free to check it out! It's a small thing, but fixing those errors sometimes make the difference between Beginners and Intermediate.

A touching story with a satisfying ending--I enjoyed reading this.
I really enjoyed this story, I got so caught up in it...anxious to see the outcome. Good story!

God bless~
What a wonderful way to show how important it is to stand up to wrong doers. When I was growing up I saw people allowing wrong to be done to innocent children because the parents would not allow the guilty to be punished.
Great story about an important truth.

Thank you for sharing it.
This is a different take on the topic. I enjoyed reading the story and was pleased to see that telling the truth won out in the end. Nice job.
You hooked me in the first sentence. Your imagery is magnificent, the intrigue at the beginning, not knowing exactly where the story would go all tied it into a bundle of excitement. And to pack that much depth into such a short story, is powerful.

I agree the grammar caught my attention now and then; however, I was left wanting to see more of your writing.