The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/22/13
I like the device of using a conversation between your two characters to tell the back story--well done.

You may want to brush up a bit on punctuation and capitalization of dialog. I'll be posting a lesson on that in the forums on this site in the next few weeks--feel free to check it out! It's a small thing, but fixing those errors sometimes make the difference between Beginners and Intermediate.

A touching story with a satisfying ending--I enjoyed reading this.
08/22/13
I really enjoyed this story, I got so caught up in it...anxious to see the outcome. Good story!

God bless~
What a wonderful way to show how important it is to stand up to wrong doers. When I was growing up I saw people allowing wrong to be done to innocent children because the parents would not allow the guilty to be punished.
08/24/13
Great story about an important truth.

Thank you for sharing it.
08/24/13
This is a different take on the topic. I enjoyed reading the story and was pleased to see that telling the truth won out in the end. Nice job.
08/26/13
You hooked me in the first sentence. Your imagery is magnificent, the intrigue at the beginning, not knowing exactly where the story would go all tied it into a bundle of excitement. And to pack that much depth into such a short story, is powerful.

I agree the grammar caught my attention now and then; however, I was left wanting to see more of your writing.