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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Example (07/25/13)

TITLE: Can you see me now?
By Holly Hoell
08/01/13


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“Don’t go in there Bella. It’s not safe.” Nessa looked nervously at the woods. All the loofs in Bloom Town knew better than to go into the woods, but Bella loved to test her mom.

A police car came speeding by. Bella hopped and pointed “mom, look that loof has green skin”!

"Let’s go back home darling, you must not be feeling well. You simply aren't acting yourself." Nessa put her arm around Bella and guided her toward the house.

That night Bella said her prayers. “God, what if everyone doesn't have blue skin? Was what I saw real? Please protect my family from the monsters in the woods”. She had never seen anything in there but she heard stories of people going in and never coming back. "Amen."

In the morning she took her fishing pole and headed toward the pond. Her dog spark followed along biting at pesky bugs. A rabbit ran into the woods and Spark pursued. “Spark, come back.” Not thinking, Bella ran after him.

She came upon a campfire and a tent. She could see Spark’s tail wagging. Walking up, she gasped as she saw an elderly loof with green skin!

They stared at each other mouth’s hanging open. “Hi my name is Bella, sorry about my dog.”

“What are you doing here! You don’t belong here. Get away from my home!” The loof shook her fist in the air.

“Are you hurt”? Bella stared at the bloody bandage on the woman’s foot.

“I’ve survived this long without the help of a blue skin and I don’t need it now.” She took a swig from a large brown jug.

“Why do you have green skin? I thought I saw man with green skin in a police car yesterday.”

“What is wrong with you girl? There is a whole city of us green skins the other side of the woods.”

“My mom always told me there were monsters in these woods.”

“Heh Heh, aren’t you gullible.”

“Let me pray for your foot so it can be healed.” Bella took a step toward her.

“Pray? I don’t know what you are talking about, but I like my space. Go away girl.”

“Okay, but I will check on you later.”

Bella called Spark and went to the pond to fish. After a few hours, she had caught several fish. Thinking of the elderly loof, she went back into the woods and gave her some fish. “Could I know your name please?”

“It’s March. Thanks for the fish.”

“Now will you let me pray for your foot? God can heal it for you.”

“Look girl, my foot has been like this for a month. I don’t believe there is any God so if you want to pray chant or dance around me, be my guest. It won’t do a bit of good.”

Bella knelt down in the dirt and put her hands on the filthy bandage and thanked Jesus for the cross and proclaimed healing over March’s foot in Jesus name.

“See, I told you it wouldn’t do any good. Thanks for the fish, you’d better get home it’s going to be dark soon.”

The next morning Bella took her fishing pole and headed back into the woods.
Not seeing her, she called out, “March are you here? “

“Bella.” March walked toward her.

“Your foot is better!”

“I woke up this morning and it feels so much better!”

“March, what is going on with your skin? It looks kind of grey. When my older brother had grey skin they sent him away to the doctor and I haven’t seen him in a long time.”

“Don’t worry girl, I feel a lot better. Can I ask you about this God you prayed to?”

“Yes, Bella explained all about Jesus and how she had put her life in his hands when she was just a little loof. Would you like to do the same?”

“No one has ever treated me like I was worth anything. I believe you and I would like to do it.”

They prayed together. Bella left to catch some fish, but when she returned that evening, she was shocked at what she saw.

“March, you have blue skin!”


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This article has been read 87 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/04/13
I really enjoyed this. You drew me in with your dialog and interesting characters. You may need to brush up on some punctuation rules, but overall you did a great job. I loved the ending and didn't see it coming at all. This is one of my favorites so far this week. Nicely done.
Camille (C D) Swanson 08/04/13
Oh, I really enjoyed this. It was such a good entry. Very well done.

God bless~
Virgil Youngblood 08/07/13
Thoroughly enjoyable with a great message. Well done.
Richard Hicks08/07/13
I enjoyed reading this. You words brought life to the characters. Keep writing.