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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Expand (07/18/13)

TITLE: More Love
By Emily Gillilan
07/25/13


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I donít consider myself to be excessively grumpy. Iím capable of watering a 5 inch wide-leafed plant every time I notice the edges turning yellow. I manage to purchase new Greek yogurt within the same month of its expiration date. But when I was pregnant with my son, I recall a distinct fear shadowing my mind:
ďAm I selfless enough to care for a child? Will I be able to love him enough?Ē

Two years later, I peek over the top of my newspaper at his golden hair floating up and down as he bounces too high on a red wooden antique spring horse. He rides so intently it seems as though he is in pursuit of a vagrant fox thatís guilty of terrorizing neighborhood chicken coops. There is silence in the house except for his rhythmic squeaking. And Iím in heaven here with him.

I remember the first time I noticed God growing my heart to be big enough to receive the pure love of my child. As any heart that has been bruised by the pain of broken relationships, mine had shriveled and build thick walls for protection. But some beauty is too brilliant to be stopped.

That first moment of piecing growth occurred at the end of a long drive. I turned the key off; silence seemed to befall the earth as the motor-hum stilled. I waited, noticed the lack of questions, ďAre we home mommy? Are we getting out?ď I leaned slightly forward and heard the gentle timed hiss of breathing in the backseat. Norman had fallen asleep, but as I clicked free the buckles on his car seat and scooped my arms beneath him, he grasped my shoulder as a pillow, not too sleepy to recognize mom. The weight of his 20 pound toddler body hung like a precious sack of live gold in my arms. And I cried softly as I carried him up the stairs.
ďThank you Jesus for this glorious gift,ď I whispered in my mind, treasuring each step of the short trip to his bedroom.

In that moment I felt sharp pain in my heart as I let Normanís sweet complete trust coat me like the dew of early morning. It pieced the walls that my heart had built due to terror of vulnerability. The stone encasement cracked and crumbled off, allowing my heart to expand and receive more love. I always thought my heart would need to grow to provide more love for my child. I never dreamed it would need to expand to receive the depth of love God gives as my child leans into my care.


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This article has been read 247 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Larry Whittington07/26/13
Interesting how God's comfort comes.

Trusting God enough to obey his commandments also brings peace in times of trouble.
Brenda Rice 07/29/13
Your reasoning in paragraph one gave me a smile. Your thoughts on motherhood are touching and I believe you are a great mom.

You have a way with words that I like. Keep writing.

Thanks for sharing.
lynn gipson 08/01/13
Congratulations on your 1st place win! Very well done.

Blessings. Lynn
Virgil Youngblood 08/01/13
A delightful read and a deserving EC. Well done.
CD Swanson 08/01/13
Congrats! God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/01/13
This is so beautiful. It brought tears in my eyes. Love isn't always an easy thing to define but you did a grand job. Plus just imagine how much more God loves us! It's mind numbing! Congratulations!
Colin Swann08/01/13
Well done with your EC win.
Linda Goergen08/01/13
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WIN EMILY! So well deserved with this touching story that most mothers can relate to. I think most mothers think their hearts will burst with love for their child and you put it into words so well!
Genia Gilbert08/01/13
This is wonderful! My congratulations on your 1st place in Level 1 and your EC! Well deserved.
Vince Martella08/01/13
Congrats. A very engaging read with some really nice word pictures. I enjoyed this immensely.