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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Expect (07/11/13)

By Pauline Carruthers



I stir, turn over and half open still sleepy eyes. It’s 5am. He has been waiting for me to awake.

“Good morning my Father, my Abba Father! It could be today Father?” I whisper.

I feel His smile and my lips echo a response. My eyes, now fully open, focus on the gap in the curtains, left in anticipation of a spectacular sunrise. At this time of year the sun rises over the fields with a mesmerising stillness, airbrushing the walls with a fiery red glow. The cream faux silk curtains shimmer with a pink tinge, as its rays filter through, piercing the window and bouncing off the mirror, creating tiny rainbows on the opposite wall. I think of God’s promise and my hope for the future.

Today might bring a buyer for our house. I have been waiting so long, but I know it’s coming! I can’t wait to switch on my computer and look at the properties for sale. The apartment we felt so ‘at home’ in might have come back on the market! But I need to immerse my senses in His Word before my day begins. I turn to the Psalms and read;

‘Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.’ (Psalm 16:5-6)NIV.

“I know Father that I have a delightful inheritance waiting for me in Heaven, when the time is right, but I’m trusting also that You will safely keep my ‘delightful apartment’ until this house is sold!”

My spirit is lifted and rises to the mountaintop at the prospect of an imminent sale and a move to the apartment we had chosen. Then, for a moment, my subconscious snaps up a picture of the wonderful man God gave to me for twenty-five good years, but called home just months ago. And I melt back down the mountainside. When I reach the bottom He is there, as I knew He would be; my Saviour. He lifts me and joy begins in the depths of my soul, bubbling up like magma trapped beneath the earth. It rises, struggling to find a way out beyond the pain. It is too powerful to contain and continues to rise, until it reaches the mountaintop again and erupts in a crescendo of praise, to the One who gives me hope.

I switch on my computer and look on the property for sale website, knowing the apartment will not be there. But I like to check it out! It will not come up for sale again until my house is sold. The two things, sale and purchase, will co-ordinate! Despite the devastating grief of loss, I’m excited at the prospect of living in the apartment we had chosen together. A precious memory surfaces in my mind and plays over our conversation, as we had lingered in the tiny study, stepping out onto the small balcony overlooking the sea.

‘I can just see you at your desk, writing.’ he had said. ‘Promise me you will write!’ I had cried, but I made that promise.

The illness was aggressive and though unspoken, we had both known I would be living there alone!

Two garden sheds stand empty in the back garden and the skip on my front drive is gradually filling with rubbish. Wardrobes hold only what will be worn and the kitchen cupboards are devoid of anything that has not been used for at least a year. A new dinner service waits to be unpacked in the kitchen of my new apartment and a tub of his favourite sunflowers wait for a place on the balcony. Now it’s time to clear out the loft. Because I will soon be moving!

We never tired of early mornings together, eagerly waiting for the sun to rise over this house. And now it seems appropriate that it should be the sun setting that will bring joy to my soul, as I anticipate the rest of my life without him. We chose the apartment together and I will remember him with thankfulness to our God, as I sit alone, watching as the glorious sunset sinks lower over the sea.

“Will it be today Father, my Abba Father? Will my house be sold today? I’m ready to go Lord. I’m moving!”

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This article has been read 372 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Virgil Youngblood 07/19/13
Beautifully and tenderly told. This was a joy to read. The abiding faith of the MC shines through and offers encouragement to the reader.
Jody Day 07/19/13
Beautifully written with compelling imagery. Lovely treatment of the topic. Uplifting! Thanks:)
Larry Whittington07/20/13
A living story. Alive with vivid anticipation and expectation.

Looking back the descriptive scenes add a melancholy mood and intensity to the feelings of the story.

Many will be able to relate to this situation.
C D Swanson 07/23/13
This was straight from your heart and I felt your anguish, yet joy in your faith and unyeilding hope in the asurety of where "you're going." Your heart felt and tender reflections of your life with your hubby is palpable, and will minister to many who read this. A friend of mine recently lost her husband of twenty years, I will share this with her.

I pray for a speedy sale of your home, and that the Lord will inspire you to continue to write...clearly you are gifted in this arena, and I know your hubby is rooting for you as well.

God bless you abundantly in all that you do~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/23/13
This is a powerful, yet bittersweet story. You did a wonderful job of pulling me in right away. The one bit of red ink I might offer is to save your exclamations for dialog. Instead, let the wonderful words you chose do your exclaiming for you. I especially liked how you showed the intimate relationship between the MC and Jesus. I can feel the love radiate off the page.
lynn gipson 07/25/13
Congratulations on your very fine 1st place winner of a story. You are well on your way...blessings.
C D Swanson 07/25/13
Congrats! God bless~
Bea Edwards 07/25/13
Congratulations on your well deserved 1st place level win. You crafted a poignant tale full of lovely imagery and devotion to our Savior.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 07/27/13
Congratulations for ranking 1 in level 1 and 19 overall! (the highest rankings can be found on message boards.)