The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 253 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a great poem; action filled.
I like it. You did a good job. A missing letter o in the last line made me to read the line many times. It happens! Thanks for sharing.
06/09/13
Ooohhhh. This was precious. I love the way you wrote this. There's plenty of action and emotion yet, the POV you use is absolutely perfect.

I really could feel her conflicts as she rushed around trying to be superwoman and somehow forgetting the important part of it all. I'm glad she figured it out in the end and I loved that the detail of the flower petals falling.

This was very nicely done. I like it. It's one of my favorites this week. Thanks for sharing!
Oh I really like this. It's quite creative and the fast pace really demonstrates the frenetic attitude of the MC.

Tiny red ink outrages should be outrageous. Also remember when someone new starts speaking, you need to start a new paragraph even if it is just one word.

Overall, I think you did an incredible job with this piece. You showed the conflict and my heart hurt for the poor little guy in the closet. I remember doing that as a kid, praying that someone would come and prove that I was loved. This is a great message for parents everywhere. Little things like the dishes or laundry can wait, but the our babies just grow too fast to be put on the back burner. Great bit of writing.
06/11/13
Wow - this was an excellent piece. I really enjoyed this very much. Clever and well done.

God bless~
06/13/13
Congratulations on you well deserved 2nd place win. An excellent writing!
Congratulations on ranking 2 in your level and 18 overall. (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)