The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Very interesting take on the topic. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing your unique style of writing.
You do a great job of pulling the reader in right away with the instant conflict. Be careful of run-on sentences. Just by adding a comma or semi-colon can really help the flow. I really enjoyed the open ending in this powerful piece. So many people think we have all kinds of time, but the truth is we never know when we may hear that last thump. Good job.
Interesting take on the topic. It was sobering and certainly not unrealistic in its content, something that I'm sure many think about, if not discuss with their family and friends, the "final day" of which all will face before being called home.

Great job. God bless~
This is drama that makes a great point in the end. Since my husband is a heart patient, I recognized some of the symptoms, and related to it. This thump could indeed be someone's last, and is a good warning to trust in Jesus while there is time. Good job.
Congratulations on your placing in the Challenge! I loved this story....

Blessings, Lynn