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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Thump (05/30/13)

TITLE: The Beat
By Pauline Brakebill
05/31/13


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The Beat

The evening is beautiful! The air breathes of the fragrance of lilacs. How gentle the breeze as it whispers through her hair, caressing her round face. That breeze lifted the long silky thin frock, wrapping the pleats around her shapely legs. She portrays a vision of purity. I have never seen such a picture as this.

Approaching her, my heart starts thumping like a base drum in a marching band. How can I ever obtain her attention? This lump in my throat, is nearly chocking me. What can I say to her? Can I use a silver guilded tongue with words that flow drippingly from my mouth?

The goose bumps are spreading through my entire being. I canít let her see my nervousness. My arms want to reach out and hold her close to my beating heart. I am not sure I can keep myself afloat.

Come with me my love, we will fly to the ends of the earth together, hand in hand my lips pressed against your eager mouth. God will surely bless this meeting of two souls.

Itís time now to go to her in all her loveliness . I will reach for her heart and hand, praying that she will not reject my advances. Oh, what soft, white finger tips . The blood rushes from my head, donít let me faint , dear Lord. My heart thumping louder and louder, cries out , Iím going to die!

No, I must be brave! I am ready now ! I will approach her, take her hand in mine, and I will proclaim my undying Love.

The Chariot awaits her fragile body. I will go forth to her now.

Hi ya doll ! Whatís up? Whatís Your title? Want to hang out with me? Letís split. We can use my dadís old Chevy


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This article has been read 157 times
Member Comments
Member Date
lynn gipson 06/07/13
I am smiling from ear to ear. The last part jolted me back a few years. I especially remember Hi ya doll! A great little story told here. Thanks for sharing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/08/13
Okay you got me good and that doesn't happen too often. As I read, I was trying to think of a nice way to suggest you cut down on the purple prose, but then I read that last line and burst out laughing. It takes a touch of genius to make overly flowery descriptions work and boy did you pull it off. The juxtaposition of the last line was brilliant. I think You did a marvelous job. You definitely covered the topic and you had me going.
CD Swanson 06/09/13
Hahahahaha...Great job with this. Clever and totally refreshing!

God bless~
CD Swanson 06/09/13
Hahahahaha...Great job with this. Clever and totally refreshing!

God bless~
Genia Gilbert06/10/13
Very clever. You had me until the very end. Well written1