The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/31/13
Amen! Beautiful entry and beautiful close...God bless~
This is an awesome piece. Being a writer, words and letters fascinate me so I found myself intrigued immediately.

I did stumble over the first two lines, though. By adding a comma or the word to before form and on after depending would have helped the flow. Then I wondered if you did it on purpose to prove your point. If not one easy way to check for awkward sentences used to ask someone to read it aloud, if they stumble then you may want to consider rephrasing.

That is just a little thing though and overall you did a splendid job. I think your take on the topic was unique and creative. It is quite different than any other story I've read thus far. It is a message we can all relate to. I like stories that make me stop and think, and you certainly did that!