The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
11/15/05
Your vivid illustrations of her thoughts and self-disgust are gut-wrenchingly accurate, but at times overpowering to the story. Nice effort.
11/19/05
The graphic illustrations may be a bit overdone, but the hard line conclusion makes it worth while. Find an editor to clean up some of the basic writing issues and you have a good one.
11/19/05
BB this is not a nice story! Oh, you knew that. But it is gripping with some powerfully descriptive lines (Her pitiable life story swum around in empty cavities of her internal septic tank, weaving throughout the befouled excretment of her memory banks.)Mmm, spelling of excrement... And it ends on a truly beautiful note - thanks for that! Some tough thinking went into this. Well done. Yeggy
11/20/05
This is yucky and horrible - but that's what you were going for. You've put into words something that most of us will never experience, and you made it real. Good job.
11/22/05
Well I liked it. Her self loathing and desperate circumstances come through vividly, and there is hope at the end. Some of your descriptions are excellent. Well done BB.
11/23/05
Ugh ... and well done ... all at once. This was so ugly and yet the whole point is that to God she is not only accepted but beautiful. Wow. Well done.