The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/27/13
Powerful! Excellent job.
God bless~
I think you did a nice job with this piece. It really made me stop and think. I'd guess a lot of people overuse the word should. I may have left out the paragraph before the Bible verse because you did a great job of showing the reader the message and the Bible verse really hits it home. You did a nice job though of echoing the pain of loneliness in the MC. We do tend to hide behind doors at time and soon it can become a habit nearly impossible to break. Nicely done.
Congratulations for ranking 9th in your level!