Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Ding-Dong (05/16/13)
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TITLE: "Ding-dong Ditching" Done Right | Previous Challenge Entry
By Victoria Catron
05/17/13 -
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My bugs were quick to explain that they weren’t trying to hurt anyone just have fun. A normal desire for children and adults! They were also quick to explain that their cousin would ring the bell, run, and then get in a position to shoot at the person with a BB gun. Oh my! I wasn’t sure what to do with that information but I had to reinforce that it was wrong. My mind and mouth tried to find a way to allow the children to still enjoy their fun but do it in a good way.
We were in my car and had traveled several blocks away from the library when the Holy Spirit gave me an answer. The Bible says that we should give generously, but not for the accolades of others (2 Corinthians 9:7 KJV; Matthew 6:1-4 KJV). So I told them that it was okay to play “Ding-dong Ditching” and a way to make it even better was if they left something good for the people who would answer the door. It could be something as simple as leaving a card or maybe a single flower. They could make the cards, but it would take a little more forethought and possibly adult participation for the flower.
They seemed to think the idea was good, but I wanted them to be encouraged to really try it. How could I do that unless I told on my sister and myself for “Ding-dong Ditching” though we did it on cars in parking lots more recently as adults? This excited them even more! Our actions need to match our words if we want to lead children in a godly direction. Maybe someday soon I can personally show them how it’s done right!
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I will admit, I thought you had bugs in your pocket, not kids in your backseat. At first I thought the MC was a young boy who liked bugs!
Try using actual dialog to help build the characters. For example you could try something like" Mommy, Billy and I have a new game. It's called Ding-Dong Ditch!"
I looked up in the rearview mirror. "Hmm, how do you play this game?"
I hope that gives you an idea of what I mean. That way the dialog and the body language (like having Mom raise one eyebrow when they mention BB guns) will give the reader more insight into the character's emotions and personality.
I liked the message and the gentle way the mom had of showing her children that it can be okay to have fun as long as no one gets hurt. I also thought the Bible verse was a great fit with this story. You did a good job!