Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Rattled (05/09/13)

TITLE: Shake Rattle and Roll
By carl lynn
05/15/13


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Shake Rattle and Roll


It was late Saturday night, Pastor Newby came out of His office in the back of the Church, just as He was about to turn out the lights, before He locked the doors and went home, where His wife had the evening meal waiting for Him , He thought He heard a noise coming from the main auditorium . The Church had been broken into and things taken, so the Pastor preceded very casualty to open the door, just as He was about to ask if anyone was there He heard the sound of weeping coming from the front pew of the huge sanctuary , as He approached the teenage boy kneeling at the pew.

The boy looked up “ Oh Pastor, you scared me I find the door to the Church open but I was not sure anyone was here.” the teen was now on His feet looking at Pastor Newby, He continued, “ I promise, I just came in to pray, I was not going to take anything or damage anything I promise!”

The Minster smiled at the boy, “its O.K. I believe you, Billy, it is Billy isn’t It.” the young lad nodded His head in the affirmative. “May I ask what is troubling, you?” “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Well Pastor I was reading My Bible in the book of Revelations, and I read some things that troubled me, so I thought if I came down to the Church and prayed, maybe God would help me to understand and give me some peace of mind.” As Billy finished speaking the Preacher sat down and motioned for Him to be sit as well.

As they were both seated the Pastor reached to the back of the pew in front of them and pulled a Bible from a simple wooden rack, which was on back of all the pews, each one containing a Bible and a songbook.
“Now Billy why don’t you show me where you were reading and maybe God will help us both to get a better understanding of what He was saying in His Word.” Billy smiled, He knew that the Preacher was just trying to make Him feel better and more relaxed, and it had worked. He opened The Bible found the place where He had been reading and handed it back to His Pastor.

As the Minster took the opened Bible from the young man sitting next to Him He, begin to read the passage of Scripture to which Billy had said upset Him, as the Pastor read to Himself, He begin to nod His head as if he understood why the teen had been so upset. “Yes Billy, I see why you were troubled by this particular Scripture, you were reading in the twenty - first Chapter of Revelation, a very troubling text especially if it is taken out of context.” As He finished His sentence, He noticed the confused look on the lads face. “What that means is we must read Gods Word as a unit of thought, comparing Scripture to Scripture so that we can rightly interrupt the meaning of one Scripture or group of Scripture to all the rest of The Bible. Just remember when you come to a Passage which does not seem to fit, or contradicts other Passages, that is when we must study even harder, until it all fits together.” “Allow me to explain it this way, when I was a teenager, quite a bit younger than you are now, a song was written titled [Shake Rattle and Roll] and it became quite a hit because rock music was just becoming popular.” Seeing that his use of rock music was getting through to the teen He continued. “You see Billy when I read or study the Book of Revelation, especially in this chapter and the chapter right before it, I always think of that song title. Because some day God is going shake, rattle and roll this Earth to the point that there will be a new Heaven and Earth, and this part of Revelation describes when and how it is going to take place.”

As His Pastor, finished explaining it was if a light started flashing in the boys mind. “I see, so this is all going to take place during the time Jesus returns and straightens out all the mess that sin and Satan as gotten the world into, right?” Without a word, they both smiled.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 152 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Vince Martella05/17/13
Good job on a creative story. Your title was clever enough to seperate it from the rest as well. If you want to score well in the Challenges, you will have to pay close attention to punctuation and sentence structure. Your first 2 sentences should really be 4 or 5 sentences. You would also do well to tighten up sentences, showing instead of telling, and leaving out less important information (like Bible and hymnals on the rack). I believe your writing has potential. Your creativity coupled with crisp writing should put you in the winners circle soon!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/20/13
This is a nice story. You did a nice job of trying to build the suspense. I really like the way the pastor shows how much he cares.

You have quite a few little errors that a good proofreader could help you catch for example the pronoun he or him should not be capitalized, Okay should be written out or both letters capital OK. If you could do some more showing and less telling that would help hold the reader's attention. For example: As Pastor Newby flipped off the lights, his ears perked at the sound of sniffling. Holding his breath, he tiptoed into the sanctuary.
Hopefully, something like that will paint a picture for the reader.

I really liked the message and think it is one many can relate to. I remember being terrified of the book of Revelation. If you take out some of the extra details like the wife fixing dinner it will give you more room to expand your message. I think you have the ability to really connect with the reader and that is huge. Keep spreading the message God places on your heart.
Genia Gilbert05/21/13
I liked the way your entry made a wonderful point. Though it could use some touching up in punctuation, it shows your heart for God and for understanding His Word. You expressed that very well.
CD (Camille) Swanson 05/22/13
Good story with a powerful message at the end.

God bless~