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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Drip (04/25/13)

TITLE: Breakthrough
By Joy Ellerbe
05/02/13


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There is a dripping flowing down from a place.
This is place of depression, sadness and immense shame.
Buckled by the weight of past sins and current pressures,
who will be there to alleviate the stressors?
Tears falling like water drops that drip from the faucet,
how frustrating it must be to know a Name but not call it.
The mighty name of Jesus is there to be proclaimed,
but the issue lies in trying to handle the problems out of the strength you claim.
Drip drop are the sounds of the heavy tears of despair
Why continue on as if to say that Jesus is not really there?
Let me offer to you a change of circumstance,
it all begins with knowing that you have the chance.
You have the chance to come out of this dry place,
to put an end to the drip drop of tears falling from your face.
Let Jesus breakthrough your very world of misery,
watch how He brings you to a wonderful place of victory.
Step aside and watch the Lord of your life do His perfect work,
put an end to the drip drop of heavily weighted tears of hurt.


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This article has been read 71 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W05/07/13
I guess this is poetic prose, or prose poetic. Interesting, though I am not fond of 2nd. person poetry. Perhaps this could be considered lyrical.
Yvonne Blake 05/07/13
There's a good message in this poem. It would help the reader to make the pairs of lines match in rhythm besides rhyme. You may even want to try out more creative patterns or rhyme and rhythm. Keep writing.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/08/13
This is quite lovely. I like how you go from a place of pain and darkness to a sense of hope. Some of the lines seems to not have the right number of syllables, but I'll admit that poetry is not my strong suit and I have a hard time hearing the rhythm. When I write poems I have to count out the syllables of each line on my fingers. I do like your message and I think many will be able to relate to this and see the hope in "just a name." Good job!