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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Drip (04/25/13)

TITLE: Beware!
By Kelli Hunt
05/01/13


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There is a jackhammer outside the office window, relentlessly pounding the faithful, unsuspecting concrete steps. Fast repetitive, concentrated jabs accomplish the mission. Finally, silence. There lies the victim, once solid and purposeful, now demolished and left to lie in scattered, jagged chunks.

There is a woodpecker outside the bedroom window, tirelessly pecking at the thick bark of the beloved, stately old oak. Focused and persistent hammerings echo, day by day by day. Finally, quiet. There stands the victim, once whole and healthy, now scarred and invaded. Within her heart now rests the enemy. He found her weak spot, and occupation is complete.

There is a snake outside the back gate, secretly stalking, winsomely winding, a silent shadow moving into the established grounds of the garden. Surreptitiously, he approaches between the deep rooted perennials, closer, closer, ever closer. Finally, attack! There lies the victim, once so joyfully seeding, tirelessly weeding; now punctured and bleeding, surrendered, defeated.

Like an unseen leak consistently they drip,
these
Lies
onto,
in
to,
the
Church.

Believers, are we listening? Our hold is slipping. Pastors, are you standing? The scales are tipping.
A pernicious poison is quietly seeping into the Kingdom that is in our keeping.


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This article has been read 129 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/03/13
This is a powerful allegory. I like the examples that you have given. The only thing I might suggest is just take it a step further and tell us a little bit more. Paint a vivid picture and then transition into your message. You make the reader think and that is always good.
Vince Martella05/04/13
I liked this. The format was different, creative. You created interesting word pictures. I liked the variety of sentence structures. Some were like a prizefighters jabs, short and effective strikes. I usually don't comment on poetry ( not really my area) but your weaving it in here works well, especially the dripping format (Like an unseen leak..). Well written and effective message.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/09/13
Congratulations on placing 12 in your level! (The top 15 in level one can be found on the message boards)