The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
05/04/13
Good, interesting writing. You need to space between the paragraphs to make it easier to read, but other than that, Good Job!
05/05/13
When story-writing it is preferable to write out the numbers, e.g. six, not 6. This reads like an extract from a longer story, and I found the ending a little confusing. Probably just me. God bless you.
05/06/13
I liked the mystery, suspense and increasing intrigue. Although "drips" are thrown in, the story does not seem on topic to me. If you leave the Topic and Title lines off at the beginning, you will free up word space that can be used in the story, if needed. The dialog, though a little hard to follow, gave good flavor to the story.