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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Click (04/18/13)

TITLE: Lost in Cyberspace
By Nicole Van Der Merwe


It takes one click to delete and only a couple of clicks to sign out from the social networks. A few clicks later I am back on line surfing cyberspace. We have become so accustomed to being online and chatting for hours to friends we knew long ago or even those we have never met.
A few years ago I was introduced to social networks online and was so excited to find long lost friends to reconnect to. I liked the prospect of using social networking to meet new friends and to spread the good news of my faith. I could blog, express my views and connect to people who were liked minded. Sharing photographs and interests I had with my friends was fun.
Quite unexpectedly without even realising it, I found myself spending more and more time online research, downloading and sharing material that interested me with others in cyberspace. Being on the internet became more real to me than my actual real life in a real tangible world. Most of my friends were from cyberspace. I was communicating with my countless friends online via internet. I had been sucked into a life of clicking a button for company and clicking it again if I did not desire to communicate. I found it easier to share my heart and to play a game of make belief.
My life in the real world was falling apart anyway. My marriage was collapsing and there had been no communication for a long time. Everything around me was becoming a blur as I plunged deep into surfing the net. I had found a new drug that was legal and acceptable and that had so many perks. The best thing of all was that I could switch the computer on and off as I pleased. I could ignore friends if I did not want to chat to them with the click of a mouse.
The internet is a great tool for research and writing challenges on Faith writers. It is even great to network and advertise your businesses. The media is wonderful for spreading the word of God to the ends of the earth. Without technology we would not have discovered and learnt as much as we have. So much good can come from the internet if we just treat ourselves with respect in regards to its use. Cyberspace is not a tool to escape the reality. The fact is that we have to still live in a real world with real people around us. Reality is not just a click away.

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This article has been read 240 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Nicole Van Der Merwe 04/26/13
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/29/13
I really enjoyed this. you make some great points. The computer can be a great tool, but like anything if it is used to the extreme then it can become like you inferred, a dangerous addiction.

One thing I might suggest is to go back and notice how many times you repeated phrases or words like social network or cyberspace in some paragraphs. It's not always easy to find a synonym for those words so you could do something like this: A few years ago I discovered the online world; excited to find new friends and spread my faith, I ended up spending hours on social networks.
It's just a tiny change, but it helps the repetition and I also substituted some active verbs for passive ones like was which also helps you connect to the reader by showing, not telling.

You did a great job of weaving the topic throughout your story. I also liked how you used examples that pretty much everyone can relate to. Your ending really pulled the story together. Many authors find the ending difficult to manage, especially in under 750 words, but you did a great job of doing just that!

If you would like some more feedback, check out the tossing a brick thread on the message boards: http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=36947&sid=9bf86fd740f6a3f9ea7b0dc030505a40
Laury Hubrich 04/30/13
You are so right. We do get lost in cyberspace. Way too much at times. What will it be like in the next generation, I wonder? Nice job making me think.
Judith Gayle Smith05/01/13
Well worth reading. You have succinctly summed up the dangers of getting involved in cyberspace . . .

Throw a Brick for CLICK

Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/02/13
Congratulations on placing 12 in your level! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards at http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=36971&sid=fc51905b09e1c3a6153917b33a0614a4 )