The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/26/13
Nice story. This piece could use a bit of editing, though, checking for things like verb tense, punctuation and capitalization. Keep writing!
04/29/13
i Would shuck the well's, get a good proofer and Keep Writing. I enjoyed the story.
Sweet imaginative story. I kept wondering what Jasmine intended with that celery stick . . .

Throw a Brick for CLICK

http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=36947




This is a darling story. It's not easy to write in the present tense, but you did a fine job with it.

There were some little errors with punctuation. The rules can be confusing and hard to remember. I often use White and Strunk's Elements of Style. There are also some good sites on the internet as well as right here on the message boards and in the writing university section.

I'll admit I had a hard time picturing Grandma yelling OMG, but I thought you did a nice job of taking us on a journey through the eyes of a two year old. I think every writer can relate to the stomach plunging fear that makes us break out in sweat when we hear that ominous click and worry if we hit the save button. You did a nice job. Keep writing and try reading as many stories as possible and you will find it getting easier and easier each week. I've been here three years now and have learned so much from the other writers who so graciously have helped me on my journey so don't give up! You do have a knack and I did enjoy this piece. :)