The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
You created very believable characters and had a lot of good action in your piece. I could feel the inner angst inside your MC although he was remaining calm on the inside for the sake of Michelle. You also had nice pacing throughout, it did not feel rushed. One thing I did think about is the title did give the ending away a bit even though it didn't say how it exactly saved the day. I really enjoyed this -- it was a fun and creative read.
Your main character remained remarkably calm in the face of great danger. I wouldn't have handled things so well.
I thought this was absolutely wonderful! On the edge-of my-seat kind of story. Yes I knew it was going to be a sneeze but it didn't take the suspense away for me. You are a very good story teller, with a definite way with words! Great!!
You are far too gifted to limit yourself to the "Beginner Level". This is superbly crafted, rivetting and, at the end, most satisfying. God bless you . . .
I agree with the other comment -- It's time for you to move up! I enjoyed your story. Great job.