The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 285 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a sweet story. I enjoyed the characters and the sweet relationship between mother and son.

I noticed you had a POV shift. Since the MC Is the mom, the reader can only know what she knows. When you said the son didn't notice her puffy eyes and thought she was pretty that calls for knowing his mindset. It is a difficult concept and one I just started working on myself.

I think you did a nice job covering the topic. It is a wonderful reminder how something as little as a sneeze can give us a chance to witness for others. Nicely done.
04/22/13
I enjoyed this piece - clever way to bring the gospel in. Thanks!
Beautifully expressed . . .
Congratulations on ranking 7 in your level and 28 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)