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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Achoo (04/11/13)

TITLE: Miracle in Rm. 304


People often ask Anna how she can go to the hospital each weekend and volunteer on the Children’s Wing. She replies with a compassionate look and says, “How can I not.”

Her answer is not a question, but a simple answer to a hard question. Who better than her to walk the halls that she once paced with ringing hands and tear stained cheeks? Her mission is born from an uncomplicated and selfless drive; to bring HOPE.

“Little hands and little feet need the healing love that only God can meet.” Anna read the handwritten note as she attached it to the yellow booties before entering Room 304.

With her head bowed, she prayed silently in the hall just outside the door. The nurses had already prepared her and lovingly warned her not to enter, “It will be too painful for you, Anna. Let the shift nurse deliver for you today to Room 304.”

Anna’s prayer was one that she prayed herself just over three years ago. “Dearest Father in heaven please put your healing hands around this tiny baby. Listen to his heart and breathe into his soul your breath of life. I pray you do not take him into your kingdom today but if you do, please be with his mother and father and help them to understand your will. Amen.”

She pushed open the door slowly and paused. She could hear the monitor’s steady beep and the mother’s steady sobs. Anna fought back the tears and prayed for strength. As she pushed the door fully open she saw the baby’s tiny body in the crib. The hoses and tubes hooked up to his frail frame were larger than him. In the corner was his mother sitting in a chair. Her legs were drawn up to her chin and her head was buried into her knees. Anna knew that the doctor’s had only given this child a couple more days to survive and that was yesterday. The nurses had also told Anna that the mother had never held her baby. His illness was too extreme and there could be no risk of endangering his frail body.

Feeling a presence in the room, the mother looked up. Her face said it all. She had given up completely and Anna knew that feeling all too well. Her baby was taken to heaven at only four days old. Like this mother, Anna never held her baby until was too late. She knew she couldn’t let that happen to this mother.

On bent knees, Anna crouched down in front of the mother and took her hands in her own. “My name is Anna and I have been where you are right now. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to do something for you that I should have done myself.”

Anna stood up and lifted the mother to her feet. She led her to the bed and dropped the rails. With a push of the nurse call button, Anna said, “We’re ready.”

Seconds later a nurse entered and dropped the other bed rail. She disconnected the tubes and hoses that were attached to the tiny child. Anna picked up the baby gently and turned to face his mother.

“Your baby needs you to hold him while I put on his booties.”

The mother took her baby and held him close but fearfully. Her tears ran down in huge drops on his bare chest. His brown eyes opened and looked at her as Anna slid the booties on his pale feet. A look came across the baby’s face of uncertainty and then the tiniest of sneezes came from him, “Achoo!”

Startled, his legs and arms shot out from him and he began to cry. Anna looked at the nurse but she was already out the door calling for the doctor. This sneeze and crying was not a cause for alarm but a cause for joy. This little child had never made a sound and now here he was in his mother’s arms wailing and being comforted.

A month later Anna went back to Room 304 to help the mother and her healthy baby boy nick-named Achoo to go home. The doctor said that only a miracle from God healed Achoo that day.

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This article has been read 330 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Kim Norton04/18/13
Beautiful story! Thank you for sharing! I'm not sure if this a true story or not, but we just went through a very similar experience with some friends. Their son was not suppose to survive, according to doctors, but they took him home Easter!
Pauline Carruthers 04/19/13
Thank you for this beautiful moving story - very well written too!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/19/13
This is a powerful story. You do a nice job of showing the emotions. I really liked the prayer before she entered the room.

I often don't read titles and even though this story might be slightly predictable, the title gives the ending away, so you may want to think of that in the future.

Overall you did a nice job of delivering a good message and writing on topic. The ending was sweet and the story shows the many ways prayer can be healing.
Vince Martella04/19/13
Very powerful, compelling story. Excellent.
Judith Gayle Smith04/19/13
Words cannot convey the joy flooding my heart at this incredible blessing. Is this non-fiction?
Bryan Rudolph04/20/13
Each of us has sought a miracle, in our own private Room 134. Your story is compelling, and your writing is complete. Whether fiction or non-fiction, you delivered not only about a miracle, but a message within. Please, keep writing.
Chris Goglin 04/23/13
Very powerful story about a mother's love! I enjoyed reading it very much. I agree with the other comment about maybe changing the title so it does not give away the beautiful ending. Thank you for a wonderful article.
Alicia Renkema04/24/13
This story was precious and made me cry as the mom was holding her little one, booties and all for the very first time. If I hadn't known about the title, I don't know if I would have expected a miracle or not. However, it was such a beautiful story, and told with so much intimacy that I didn't care. Some of the grammar points were a little distracting though such as when you have at the beginning, "Who better than her..." It should be "Who better than she..." There were a few other places, but you had be engaged throughout your piece and snatched me away into Rm. 304 right along with you. I am so thankful for the miracles that God performs everyday, just like this one. Many blessings to you, and I look forward to reading many more of your entries in the future.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/26/13
Congratulations on ranking 8 in your level and 29 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)