The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
Cute little story, creative and well done. I enjoyed it. Good job.
Oh I enjoyed this very much! So vivid - so real, so heroic. You have a writing style that truly grips me, the reader, and makes me want to try fiction. I love your main characters.
04/22/13
This was quite entertaining as the story unfolded at a nice pace, allowing the reader to get acquainted with the MC. God answers our prayers in ways that oft times surprise us, and that's the beauty of His power. So, I give this my applause and expect to see you graduate to Level 2 in the hear future.
04/24/13
I really liked this. We all need to remember that nothing is impossible with God.
Congratulations on ranking 6 in your level and 26 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)
This is a great story. I like how you introduced the conflict right away. That pulls the reader in and you definitely pulled me in.

Remember to start a new paragraph each time someone new speaks. Instead of taglines, like he said, you might want to consider using that spot to show the reader some insight to the character's personality. For example "Where's your money?" The biggest bully, Tyler, balled his hand into a fist.

Overall, you did a great job. The dialog was natural. I found myself smiling and totally enjoyed this. You did a great job against some competitive and strong stories. I hope you write more and more great stories, you have a gift for it.