The Official Writing Challenge
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This is the day in the life of many people. You captured this scene perfectly and right on topic. Good writing!
This will resonate within many hearts...Good job.

With God all things are possible. Nicely done.

God bless~
I love this. You do a wonderful job of painting the MC's pain with your beautiful words. This touched my heart and I could so relate to those type of feelings.

My red ink is tiny. Try to avoid words like very, really, and so. I think you only used very once, but instead of using adverbs like very, use active verbs instead. Another example of an unneeded adverb is in the beginning of completely alone. Is there any way to be partially alone? It makes it redundant. This might be too much of a cliché, but something like The loneliness washed over her,
hopefully shows what I mean.

I'm nitpicking, mainly because this is close to perfection, but even more so because I see potential in you that with just a bit of polishing will catapult you up the levels. Your take on the topic was profound, and while many stories are about splashing water, your splash was cathartic and that sets it aside from other water splashers. You have a special gift in storytelling for sure.
I am barren. This spoke to my lonely heart. Thank you.
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